To let you all know that the Child Maintenance Service..

[Rippeditoff]

have used their full powers (passport removal, driving licence suspension): 10 times since 2019

3 immediate passport confiscations
7 immediate driving disqualifications in Great Britain (July 2019 – March 2025) / CMS published data

And that the total unpaid debt is 756.6 million pounds as of 2025

Would I also be unreasonable to say this is a national disgrace to single parents and their children which we should all be raising with our MPs?

Post like this shows a majority of people are only out for themselves not caring who they affect as long as it’s not them that suffer. That is towards nrp and rp

money is a horrible subject and brings out the worst in people

The majority of us RPs on here are looking out for our kids because the NRPs don't give a shit about their own children suffering.

Stop trying to make on like it's equal, your language throughout this thread is very telling.

Very telling for what???

that I have seen how both sides are affected by a system that clearly doesn’t work for anybody.

that some times it isn’t clear cut that NRP is a dead beat and refuses to pay. Some times rp are not aware of things that happen on the other side.

forgive me for wanting a system that is fair for everyone not just women. Surely for change to happen people should debate and discuss how we as adults can fight for the children having a decent life with both parents.

You keep talking about maintenence as though it's some type of favour, that women who claim are just big meanies, that you personally know multiple men who have had thousands and thousands randomly added to their CMS for no reason, refused to acknowledge that this issue overwhelmingly affects women.... if it sounds like an MRA, and it acts like an MRA, chances are it's likely to be an MRA.

I think if you have a situation where a man doesn't want to be a father but is forced to, he's always going to be reluctant to pay. Especially if he feels it's hitting him at a time when he's trying to get a foothold in the world whilst the mother is using it to improve her own situation - free housing, income, etc.

Yes, using contraception is usually the answer but it can fail. And really if the girl is as keen as him at the time then both parties are equally culpable. It's not an easy solution.

Those that say young people should just abstain from having sex if not prepared to be a parent aren't living in the real world. Usually it's women that say this and they'll never be in the situation where they're forced to become a parent against their will, unless they live in certain parts of the US.

Not defending deadbeat dads. Just saying that if an 18yo bloke has a drunken shag at party with a girl he hasn't seen since and is then told he's going to be a father whether or not he likes it, he'll often drag his heels in paying because it's the only way he can push back.

@Chell2281 You’ve summed up my ex in a nutshell!

Only out for himself and not caring how his non-payment of maintenance affects our kids.

Money really has brought out the worst in him.

FYI - the only people the CMS needs to be fair to are the children involved who deserve to be supported both of their parents.

By wanting to prevent them from fulfilling that obligation in case they aren't sleeping in a gutter, sobbing for the one who got away? Yeah, wow.

Are you a man?? I say this as someone who’s ex refuses to pay a penny and I can promise you that it’s not about how much money “I can get for myself” or spite, or as you’ve put it elsewhere “revenge”
Its about a parent, who chose to have the children too, paying a share of the costs of raising those children.

Im finding it hard to believe you’re a woman if I’m honest

I do personally know men that have had thousands of arrears added falsely to their case.. You may not want to believe that as it would go against the plot line of all NRP are deadbeats and don’t want to pay.

nope maintenance is not about being some type of favour and women are just meanies. I used them because of a bitter new partner not that I used the money for the up keep f my children it went straight into their saving account.

cms and contact arrangements brings out the worst in people and often the best thing for the child is never considered.

leaving it here as you seem very narrow minded and refuse to see a system that is meant to be about children is abused by both sides.

I do personally know men that have had thousands of arrears added falsely to their case.. You may not want to believe that as it would go against the plot line of all NRP are deadbeats and don’t want to pay.

Out of interest, how did you personally meet these men? F4J meet-ups?

I'm sure all of your online pals have told you that they have had thousands and thousands added for no reason so their ex can spend all the money on herself and the kids are abused and neglected. That's the usual story isn't it?

A little critical thinking wouldn't go amiss.

You refuse to believe I am a women as I am not bashing NRP and just want to see a system that is fair. Rp have lots of voices fighting their case but as soon as NRP stand up they are accused of being deadbeats or failing their children. I am not defending the ones that jump from job to job to avoid payment. I am defending the ones that want to pay but are faced with issues constantly.

sorry that your ex won’t support his children. Clearly the system has failed your children.
there is a difference between supporting your children and being made to pay an amount on imaginary money.

That’s funny….

no online pals needed, lived through it with my ex who I actually helped have them removed. Could go on but you’re not open minded to see both sides.

it has been proven that cms make mistakes hence why ICE over turns calculations. The same mistakes the old system made.
NRP should pay if not sanctions should
happen but there must be a better way.

anyway enjoy your night believing all NRP are deadbeats.

It is a disgrace, but we get the service
the general public care about . Because people don’t care about it. So the CMS can’t do more.
How much will enforcement cost? What hoops do they have to compete. Because everything will need to be done perfectly so they the NRP will probably appeal. And win!
Look at the threads on here where people tell other parents they get nothing so should be grateful for a pittance.
And when they get a new partner and she has a baby then no chance.

The only NRP’s I know who don’t pay CM are those that have been married and agreed to have children and then walked away.

They are 40 somethings.

One is a millionaire and his kids have free school meals -

The other saved and co tributes to IVF after years of trying and no longer sees his kids as he shags his way through multiple woman.

Woman left holding the baby lose out on jobs, promotions, overtime, home ownerships, pensions pay rises, woman always come off worse

Oooooh a new girlfriend helping her, then, partner to reduce the CMS claim. I wasn't sure if you were a bloke, a new girlfriend, or the mum of a son with a child. Had to be one.

What about the rest of these multiple men you know who have had thousands added to their claims fraudulently. The statistics show that there is a very small percentage of CMS claims that have been resolved through the ICE, so it's amazing that you know multiple guys who have had this happen. What are the chances.

Enjoy your night thinking all women are nasty money grabbers for wanting their children's fathers to contribute to raising them.

This. If cm payments don’t help
to cut the welfare bill then most people won’t care. The benefits paid to the resident parent should be passed onto the absent / non paying parent. They should be able to take it from their bank account, put something against their passport to prevent foreign travel etc . They don’t get to walk away and let the state raise their children. It’s beyond a joke!

The U.K. is a joke with regards to child maintenance , not oniy the actual way its calculated make nil sense the fact people can get away from siting so easily is awful

How many mums have to pay thousands in childcare that dads refuse to help with simply because they choose to only see their children on the weekends ? You clearly have no idea how much omen are so much more affected after a separation or divorce than men when it comes to finances .

Not defending deadbeat dads. Just saying that if an 18yo bloke has a drunken shag at party with a girl he hasn't seen since and is then told he's going to be a father whether or not he likes it, he'll often drag his heels in paying because it's the only way he can push back.

Sorry……. Did you REALLY say you are “not defending deadbeat dads”…???!!!!!

Really?

FFS.

Oh please and how many single mums lost their lives due to lack of support , finances and sheer exhaustion . Most absent parents don’t even pay attention that they truly should , that should be 50% of all child costs including childcare

This. If cm payments don’t helpto cut the welfare bill then most people won’t care. The benefits paid to the resident parent should be passed onto the absent / non paying parent. They should be able to take it from their bank account, put something against their passport to prevent foreign travel etc . They don’t get to walk away and let the state raise their children. It’s beyond a joke!

Nobody cared when the bulk of maintenance paid for children whose RP was on benefits was meant to go toward the benefits bill - that's why we have the current system!

At that time RP's on benefits were entitled to £20 of maintenance and the rest was owed to the Sec of State to go toward the benefit bill.

When the amount owed to the Sec of State got ridiculous it was decided that something must be done - so the government of the day decided that RP's could just keep the money they knew mostly wasn't being paid and it wouldn't affect benefits... No government has changed that since.

They can already take it from their bank account. CMS do not need to go to court to take money, they can just take it. But it's rare they do.

Um, yes I did. Do you struggle with reading?

Possibly because of the stark contradiction between you saying you're not defending deadbeat dads and then immediately going on to defend deadbeat dads?

Is failure to pay a criminal offence like it is in the US? If not, why not?