to think MN is an anti autism site

[Starfa11]

and particularly as regards autism in women and girls.

4 threads currently running discrediting autism and an increase in diagnosis which is pretty typical.

We all know women and girls have historically been shut out of the autism diagnosis process and increased awareness in how autism presents in half the population will undoubtably raise numbers which is a good thing but on MN it seems women and girls aren’t allowed to be autistic.

Autism is a disability and it is devastating for families to live with. I wouldn’t wish it on anybody. I have experienced things as a parent no parent should ever have to. Autism is not being a bit qwerky or something everybody has. Often people wrestle with ADHD in addition too. ADHD is also highly impactful on life and isn’t something that is just parents excusing bad behaviour .

Denying the existence, validity, or severity of a person's disability is considered a direct form of ableism.It invalidates lived experiences, reinforces harmful stereotypes that disabled people are "faking" or less worthy, and serves as a barrier to receiving necessary support, accommodation, and respect.

Yet hugely offensive, damaging, abelist threads and posts appear (often from the same people) over and again with moderators doing very little even when reported which makes one suspect it’s a shared view by MN itself.

This isn’t something I’ve noticed, and I’m a Mum of two children with Autism, so it’s usually on my radar.

Can you share some examples please?

I believe I am the OP of one of the posts you are referring too and I have a daughter with autism. I don't understand what you are talking about though. Although this is a harsh and unkind forum regarding many topics, I find people generally very supportive when talking about autism and their experiences.

Most people are supportive. People will have different opinions but the number of foul posters is a small minority.

I would say it is more an issue with attitudes to disability in general than specifically autism.

In fact given there are so many mums here with autistic children I think any attack on autism gets much more defence from posters than other conditions.

Try posting anything about accessibility for physical disability. That’s a real eye opener. Let alone reasonable adjustments or Pip.

I think MN as a forum can have very polarised views, simply due to its sheer size. So anything posted can attract extreme points of view and it has always been fairly hands off moderation wise in this way.

I am neurodivergent and I have seen the threads like the ones you are referring to. I know that on MN I will read some things that offend me in some way or that I really disagree with, including my own and my DCs neurodivergence. In a way, I appreciate that I can come here and be challenged, and read something and think WTF, and have a back and forth about it. I feel like MN is very anti-bubble/echo chamber and I value that.

That's not been my experience OP. If anything it's the opposite. If anyone questions it then they get corrected immediately. Judging by the various threads on here there are a LOT of mumsnetters who are ND or have autistic or ADHD children or family members.

I think the total opposite. You can't move for it on MN which I get because it's a parenting site so parents with children on the spectrum are reaching out to others who might be better qualified to help. There are so many threads asking questions along the lines of "are all kids autistic these days?" Or "are some kids just naughty rather than nd?" Etc etc I think MN as a whole is pretty big on SEN kids and those questioning it are usually shot down in flames.

I have AuDHD, am the parent of a child with it too, and haven't noticed what you're suggesting. Yep, there are some ignorant dickheads on here, but that's the same with most topics. Most posters are empathetic and kind.

There are some places that aren't suitable for people with uncontrolled, disruptive stimming (such as a theatre performance, concert etc.), and others that aren't really the place to go if you struggle with crowds or queuing (Alton Towers, for example), and people aren't afraid to say so. Is that what bothers you?

It's shit not being able to do everything a neurotypical family can do, but that's disability for you. A quadraplegic is unlikely to get much out of Ninja Warrior, for example.

Disability accommodations are really important, but the key word is 'reasonable'.

I personally think there’s a lot more positivity than negativity on it, you’ll always get the ‘everyone these days’ people, but I don’t think they’re in any form of a majority and I personally have learned a lot and seen a lot of helpful comments on mn re autism. Not loving one of the threads at the mo but it’s one drop in the ocean

I think that’s a very sweeping statement to make of what ten million people? If anything I see constant suggestions someone is ND, autistic, adhd for many common behaviours, so no I don’t see it,

I think there are a lot of anti posters on any topic on MN, but generally knowledge and truth prevails.

There are a mix of opinions on all topics. It’s not an anti-autism site.

There are going to be mixed opinions and this is going to be reflected politically. There is a lot of debate about the magnitude of SEND funding in my locality and unfortunately many people are becoming a little more hostile to neurodivergence due to the fact parties such as Reform are constantly highlighting costs to the tax payer.

I think there is support for those who have disabled children but also concern about some parents that have used neurodivergence of any severity to gain advantage for their children e.g. free school transport.

I have a DD with autism and I don’t recognise this. I don’t post much about my daughter but I have found lots of helpful posts, particularly when we were going through the wait for a diagnosis here and generally I find it supportive.

I’ve definitely noticed an increase in hostility towards autistic adults and children who aren’t non-verbal.

Agree

I know a couple of adults who I went to school with. In no way were they considered differently abled, they were on par with their peers academically, socially did well etc. Having crossed paths with them 25 years later I've been astonished to hear that they have paid privately to receive diagnoses of autism and adhd and are too anxious to work. It certainly hasn't devastated their mum and dad.

It might be skepticism about the rapid expansion of the label to include what everyone considers completely normal people. A belief that labels are sought because they confer certain benefits.

No, haven’t found this at all infact the very opposite. Yes you have the occasional troll but not very often. Strange you came to this conclusion.

Being on the internet and a remote way of connecting with people, MN has a higher than average rate of representing autistic women or parents/ mums of autistic children that struggle to find connection in their RL communities.

There are threads and posts by ignorant people/ trolls, but the majority of responses are not anti-autism.

MN helped me to join the dots together about my son's behaviour patterns and resulted in his autism diagnosis. Without MN, it would have taken years longer as his primary school were utterly oblivious (even after NHS diagnosis) and he'd probably still be on a waiting list now rather than diagnosed 6 years ago.

how can the opinions of so many people make an anti autism site?
yabu

MN isn't anti autism.

Read all the pages telling you how to get a diagnosis, DLA, support etc.

although i imagine the tide is somewhat turning, due to the increase in diagnosis and coverage

I don't think many people are "anti-autism". It is after all a diagnosed condition and its existence can't be denied.

I think there is space for some debate about the extent to which society has to make adjustments for everyone with a ND diagnosis, and also the extent to which life is harder for ND vs NT. I understand that these subjects may be uncomfortable, but they are valid questions.

Personally I've learned a lot about ND via posts on this site. It has given me an insight into different presentations and more compassion for those struggling to access support and diagnosis.

At the same time, I also feel that for some people with ND there needs to be an appreciation that there is not an unlimited amount of support available and that NT people can also struggle with many aspects of life and that society cannot be expected to fully compensate for all ND traits.

YABU
Sometimes it seems Mumsnet is solely a site for parents of children with autism or ADHD. I suppose it's skewed as people need more parenting help and support when they deal with ND.

No I can’t say that is my opinion. But I think it’s what “hits a nerve” that you notice more. I would say it’s more anti mother in law and grandma one, but is that because they are the posts I read more? Because I’m both a mother in law and a grandma?