Successful Relationships

Differentforgirls · 2026-02-06T21:43:15+00:00

We always have loads of posts on here regarding toxic relationships. Do any of you have successful ones? Regarding partnerships, family or friends? I think most people do, including me, but maybe I’m being unreasonable?

PollyBell · 07/02/2026 01:50

Why would you be unreasonable? Unless you live in cave with no internet you know they exist so what is the question about

RampantIvy · 07/02/2026 06:24

Been with DH since 1978. 45th wedding anniversary this year.

Original poster

Differentforgirls · 07/02/2026 06:26

RampantIvy · 07/02/2026 06:24

Been with DH since 1978. 45th wedding anniversary this year.

❤️

OP posts:

Boomer55 · 07/02/2026 06:31

I was with my second DH for 25 happy, happy years, until he died in 2023. I still miss him.

Original poster

Differentforgirls · 07/02/2026 06:51

Boomer55 · 07/02/2026 06:31

I was with my second DH for 25 happy, happy years, until he died in 2023. I still miss him.

At least you have happy memories 😢 x

OP posts:

Original poster

Differentforgirls · 07/02/2026 06:51

PollyBell · 07/02/2026 01:50

Why would you be unreasonable? Unless you live in cave with no internet you know they exist so what is the question about

Other people seem to have understood it. Have I upset you in some way?

OP posts:

Catza · 07/02/2026 06:55

I've had a wonderful relationship for six years with my ex partner. Still didn't prevent us from splitting eventually but I haven't got a bad word to say about him. We just weren't a good fit long term.

tuvamoodyson · 07/02/2026 07:01

What do you think you’re being unreasonable about?

Notsosweetcaroline · 07/02/2026 07:02

if you’re happy in your relationship and it works you’re unlikely to start a thread saying so, and fairly insensitive to post on one about a toxic relationship saying well mines great, so of course people mainly post about shite relationships.

Original poster

Differentforgirls · 07/02/2026 07:03

tuvamoodyson · 07/02/2026 07:01

What do you think you’re being unreasonable about?

For believing that most people don’t have the problems with family and friends that seem prevalent on MN.

OP posts:

Catza · 07/02/2026 07:19

Differentforgirls · 07/02/2026 07:03

For believing that most people don’t have the problems with family and friends that seem prevalent on MN.

Edited

Show quote history

I think we all have conflicts in our relationships but I also think that most problems brought to MN are really due to lack of communication. Yes, there are some unwell and dubious people out there who can make your life difficult but, I would hazard a guess, that they are a minority.
My relationship with my mum was tricky for a number of years but we talked about it openly and we are fine now. I don't have friends who "stab me in the back" - I'm not sure why people continue friendships that don't bring them value. I have a friend who is currently going through a rough time and there is a bit of a "dump and run" situation developing. I will offer support for a few more days and then I will absolutely put some gentle boundaries in place.
If I have a serious issue with a romantic connection, my first question is always "can we solve it as a couple". If the answer is no, I don't allow it to fester. We just split up. Painful, yes. But less painful than living an unhappy life for the sake of being in a relationship.
I have a work colleague who used to try and pull rank (on the basis of working there longer even though we were on the same level) and try to give me some of her work to do. A simple "I won't be doing that" a couple of times was sufficient for it to stop.
I don't have sleepless nights worrying if a supermarket cashier was rude to me or if MIL was passive-aggressive.
Almost every "toxic" situation has a solution. It's just not the one we typically like taking.

Original poster

Differentforgirls · 07/02/2026 07:22

Catza · 07/02/2026 07:19

I think we all have conflicts in our relationships but I also think that most problems brought to MN are really due to lack of communication. Yes, there are some unwell and dubious people out there who can make your life difficult but, I would hazard a guess, that they are a minority.
My relationship with my mum was tricky for a number of years but we talked about it openly and we are fine now. I don't have friends who "stab me in the back" - I'm not sure why people continue friendships that don't bring them value. I have a friend who is currently going through a rough time and there is a bit of a "dump and run" situation developing. I will offer support for a few more days and then I will absolutely put some gentle boundaries in place.
If I have a serious issue with a romantic connection, my first question is always "can we solve it as a couple". If the answer is no, I don't allow it to fester. We just split up. Painful, yes. But less painful than living an unhappy life for the sake of being in a relationship.
I have a work colleague who used to try and pull rank (on the basis of working there longer even though we were on the same level) and try to give me some of her work to do. A simple "I won't be doing that" a couple of times was sufficient for it to stop.
I don't have sleepless nights worrying if a supermarket cashier was rude to me or if MIL was passive-aggressive.
Almost every "toxic" situation has a solution. It's just not the one we typically like taking.

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Agree!

OP posts:

RampantIvy · 07/02/2026 08:05

Excellent post @Catza

I think, for me, the fundamental things that make a relationship work are good communication, having shared values, consideration, respect and love. I believe that luck has something to do with it as well.

I agree with you @Notsosweetcaroline I don't often post about DH because it would be extremely tactless to do so on threads about relationship problems. Although, I do despair at the low bar so many women have for putting up with any old relationship, and the vulnerable positions so many women put themselves into.

The number of women who are so desperate for children that any sperm donor will do and who then post on MN complaining that the father won't step up is depressing.