AIBU to ask my partner to change the bed?

[GreenGrassySkies]

I stay at my partners house several nights a week, he has his kids several other days as well when I’m not there. His DS 14 often ends up sleeping in his bed with him when I’m not there.

AIBU asking him to change the bedcovers before I stay again? The way the days work it would be no more than once a week.

He has happily done so when I’ve asked but seems a bit bemused by it and I wish he would proactively do it without me having to ask and feel like nuisance.

I feel like there’s a lot to unpack here. He should be changing his sheets regularly, regardless of who is sleeping in them, (and between each guest) but that’s feels besides the point.

Is there any additional needs going on with the 14 year old? I find it most uncommon that a teenaged boy wants to have sleepovers in dad’s bed.

He does change the bed regularly but sometimes his DS will have slept in there before im next round.

I really do appreciate it sounds weird, I thought the same at first. But it doesn’t seem that way in reality. No additional needs, he’s just quite immature still, not hit puberty and very much still seems like a boy rather than a teenager.

Why does he share a bed with his 14 year old son?

No way would I knowingly sleep in the sheets/duvet cover of a sweaty hormonal boy or after anyone else for that matter. I would find it disrespectful to me if anyone expected me to do so.

The only thing I can suggest is that at the very least you take clean pillow slips with you and use them if you suspect the lad has been in the bed before you.

I like a pristine bed. It might sound precious to some on here but I just wouldn’t do what your chap is expecting you to accept.

I agree with you that he should be changing them without a fuss before you arrive, it’s not expecting too much.

Aw bless him, that’s okay, it’s sweet that his dad is accepting. Maybe it shouldn’t be that weird, I had a friend growing up who used to curl up in her mums bed when she was upset, even at 20. Just a surprise from a 14 year old boy.

I think it’s lovely, I just like to have clean sheets 😅

and @PashaMinaMio I am completely precious and already have my own pillows there that no one else can use 😂 hence why I wanted to check I wasn’t being completely over the top with the sheets as I’ve already got my own pillows!

I think he should change them before your visits, and again afterwards. You and the teenager shouldn't ever be sharing sheets.
But he should just take them off and fold them up - they don't need to be washed every time obviously. Maybe he thinks this is what you're asking for?

That’s a good point @Macadamian i hadn’t thought of that

Awww, my eldest is nearly 20 and we lie in bed when it’s just us at home, order some food in and watch some crap telly. They’re my favourite days!

My kids are 23 (m) and 18 (f)…and they very often come into my bed to read, play on the phones, watch a movie or just chat, often falling asleep if late at night. I love it! Nothing wrong with it, my kids and I are very close and if they want to sleep in my bed, so be it.. But in response to original post, partner should be changing his sheets every week regardless..I’d have a word, maybe he doesn’t have same standards…communicate..

He should be changing them before anyone sleeps on them

What 14 yr old wants to sleep in the sweaty sex sheets of their dad and his Mrs

What woman wants to sleep in the sheets of a sweaty teen

Or sweaty man on his own

Blerhh

This whole situation is odd though why's his son in his bed at all

BECAUSE HES HIS SON
Jesus 🤦🏻‍♀️
(Why he’s in the bed)

Your not being unreasonable, but he's a man and if it were up to him the sheets would probably be changed once every 4 months, not once a week. You have to lower your expectations unfortunately.