To think even the nice ones are a bit shit?

[Yunaually]

I have honestly had it with men. Perhaps I’m bitter (single parent to a three year old with a very minimalistic style of involvement from
her dad). Maybe I’ve gone for the wrong ones? Maybe I’ve been unlucky? Or maybe it’s not me and actually the majority ARE just a bit shit.

Don’t get me wrong, I know there are good and decent men. But there are so many more that aren’t! At least it seems that way.

in contrast, my female friends are incredible. Granted, I’m not in a relationship with them so I see a different side but they’re generally well mannered, polite, empathetic, thoughtful people who aren’t always putting themselves first or unwilling to sacrifice things for their children. They also work hard, all the time, at home and at work. They juggle things successfully and don’t make a huge fuss.

in contrast, I’ve recently started a new role in January, it’s a well paid role in a professional industry, alongside men who are paid even more (I feel this is relevant as you would think the focus would be on work). My direct line manager has gone on and on and on and on about his relationship and how shit it is and how shit she is, since I joined. Anytime I’m in a meeting he will, afterwards, ask me to hold on and then when everyone has gone he begins again. I don’t mind talking about it but it dawned on me today that I don’t think he’s so much as ever asked how I am?!

There’s loads more I could vent but basically I think most men are a bit shit. AIBU?

Then pick better?

@Blown sure. But the post is about the fact the majority seem to be shit.

Watch the colleague, he's setting himself up in the my wife doesn't understand me but you do, scenario

Reading many posts on here shows that there really are a massive amount of piss poor excuses for men. Read the threads about online dating and the calibre of men on those would be enough to put any woman off men for life

I posted this a few days ago, but I watched a TikTok saying that dating was like picking M&Ms out of a jar - there are 10 of them, the rest of the jar is full of maggots, acid and needles, so whenever you dip in you’re going to get bitten scratched and burnt.

Decent men are vanishingly rare, when you consider that silence is complicit.

They could choose to stand up for women, to shoulder an equal part of the mental load, have a fair division of labour with children and in the home, call out rape jokes and general misogyny, choose not to watch porn or see women as objects that they are entitled to watch/buy/shag/harrass. The vast majority, whilst not actively bad, are not actively good either, but we tend to set a very low bar for them so it’s normal.

And then women have the audacity to hold women responsible for the actions of shitty men. See first reply as an example of that.

In a very large group of friends, colleagues and family, my opinion is that the vast majority of the men I know are decent, kind men who appear to be good husbands and fathers.

I know only one bloke who’s bloody awful but having said that, he’s been married for 30 years and his wife loves him.

Similar here.

I think a lot of women can be a bit shit too. None of us are perfect! Maybe I'm biased because I've been married to my lovely DH for 35 years and I know he's a kind, soft hearted, hardworking, generous man. And I have 5 sons who are all wonderful men too. In fact, most of the men I know are decent.

No one is coming on Mumsnet to say how great their man is, so I’m not sure it’s particularly representative of men at large. But yeah, there are a lot of poor ones.

Similarly, I think a lot of women are absolutely shit.

These threads are getting really boring. There are plenty of nice and shit people of both sexes. The thing that puzzles me most, though, is how many lovely women people seem to know. I know some as well, don't get me wrong, but I know plenty of crap women!