To pull out of house sale?

[EmM300725]

Hi all,

looking for some advice! We had an offer accepted on a house back in December, sellers are still to find somewhere. Nearly 6 weeks later and no real development. Our seller has said she has looked at everything in her budget and cannot find anything suitable - she’s selling due to divorce and doesn’t have many funds. She offered on something 3 weeks ago, offer was rejected and she could not increase. She’s now offered on somewhere else but they are basically waiting to see if they get a better offer before accepting. They also need to find somewhere themselves. She’s also refused to move into rented or in with family and has said we just need to wait for her to find somewhere.

We had agreed to wait until end of Feb for her to find somewhere, before we start looking. However we have been contacted by an estate agent about a house we previously like which has gone back on the market - it sold before we could offer previously - this house has no onward chain.

We did go and view this house and we really like it, even more so due the fact it has no chain. Our buyers are FTB so it would hopefully go through quickly!

My question is, AIBU to pull out now, even though we said we would wait? To further complicate things, we have the same estate agent, so I don’t feel I can speak to them and get advice as they are working in both interests!!

Any advice would be helpful :)

How will you feel if you give this woman until the end of February as promised and then find she’s still dragging her feet - and the other house sells in the meantime?

At the end of the day, it’s business: she’s a vendor, not your mate. If you end up settling for a house that’s second best because you waited for her to move and the move never came, you’ll resent it forever.

6 weeks including Xmas holiday isn't that long. I don't see why you would pull out now, but nothing prevents you from looking elsewhere just in case.

Obviously, don't engage any costs for now.

It’s like an reverse contract race. Rare but not a unique situation.
Clarity and transparency are vital if you are not to feel guilty.
You tell both sellers that you want to proceed quickly and that you will exchange with whoever is ready first. Or you could withdraw from the one have currently offered on, politely , and explaining you need to move, so regrettably you are going ahead with a different property unless they can exchange by x date.

She’s also refused to move into rented or in with family and has said we just need to wait for her to find somewhere.

Except you don't. You're free to keep looking to see if there's another property you'd prefer that suits you better. She sounds like she is being fussy, which is less appropriate when you have a small budget - beggars can't be choosers! You can be fussy if you have a comfortable budget, less so when you don't. House buying is about compromise and the less you have to spend, the more you have to compromise. Sure, I'd feel sorry for her because her circumstances have changed and she's doubtless less than happy about the way things are going - but that's not your problem. Your problem is to find a suitable house for your budget!

If I was in your place, I'd make an offer/view again the property that's back on the market with a view to starting the process again with that one. You don't owe the vendor anything.

Pull out. It can take months and years with such sellers. I had to pull out after almost a year and the seller was still ‘very close to finding their new home’. Even if they get an offer accepted, it will be several months more. I’ll never even entertain a seller in a chain anymore.

we bought a house from someone selling due to divorce (her kids reached 18 and had to sell as part of the settlement) it took her months to find somewhere she was happy with then we became part of a chain. It took 13 months for the house sale to go through and we almost lost our buyers

I don't think you can know whether she's messing you about or just in a difficult situation, but it's fair to say things could go on forever at this rate, and as well as you there's your buyer to think of. YWNBU to pull out if your offer on the other house is accepted, as then you'd have a complete chain - not that that's necessarily any guarantee of anything either. As a pp said, do your due diligence on why the other house has become available again, and make sure your buyer's situation is watertight, or you may be jumping from the frying pan to the fire.

Something like what they do in Europe. When your offer is accepted, you put down 10% deposit. If you pull out - you lose it, if the seller pulls out - they pay you double your deposit. I sold my house in Europe recently. Agent showed it on Monday, by Wednesday the buyer paid the deposit, bank approved the mortgage within two weeks and the deal was signed the very next day.

How did the survery and ground work checks or deeds get checked?

And in this case the seller hasnt pulled out, she cant find anywhere to go?

Re seller, this doesn't matter in Europe. The date of the exchange is agreed immediately after the bank approves the mortgage in principle, if you can't exchange on that date, you pay. Reasons don't matter. If you are not serious about selling, then you simply don't put your property on the market or be prepared to pay double the deposit back to the buyer.
Surveys and checks are organised and done within 24h. I had architect come on a Tuesday, report submitted on Wednesday morning and buyer was then able to pay the deposit to take the property off the market.
And here I am in England not even able to get a hold my conveyors without them taking a week to reply...

Been there waited and waited months because they couldn't find anywhere else until we got fed up and found somewhere else and withdrew our offer. The original house was still on the market 2 years later! You don't owe this person anything so if you find something that you are happy with and they are proceedable I'd withdraw.

Where do people go if they haven’t found a house?! And all their stuff?

In Spain, the survey and searches are arranged by the vendor prior to advertising, so available to all.
This speeds things up considerably.

That seems to work very well then, not reliant on a local authority I take it?

Ive heard horror stories of Spanish and Italian properties where about 15 people or so 'own' the property or bits of land arent actually attached to the property they're somewhere down the road, or dealing with flying freeholds and bits of house that arent registered etc. Im not sure I would trust checks that come back so quickly, planning consents for things etc

Also the nightmare of the committees for overseeing the communal areas where people dont agree on what the funding should be for or who hasnt paid this or that up to date or who is letting out their flat in the block when they shouldnt be sort of thing.

Perhaps if its nice and straightforward in most cases though.

I guess, I was lucky. It took me a week to buy this property and two weeks to sell it. No issues whatsoever with community in 15 years I've had it. We have quarterly meeting where joint decisions are made about communal areas and investment. I'm not aware of any disagreements. My parents lived in a very similar housing coop since 1964 where all decisions are made jointly so "nightmare of the committees" just never crossed my mind. I'm far more weary of outsourcing decisions to the management company with no input from the people who live in the building/complex and ever-increasing bills for the pleasure.

It depends on the individual circumstances.

1. my retired parents sold, found somewhere to buy but it needed extensive renovations so put their things in storage and spent 6 months in their caravan travelling and came back when it was finished
2. my colleague moved to another town, sold, bought a house in new town and had about a month where they were “homeless”. Their things were stored at the removalists company and they stayed with a family member for the month.
3. my friend last year sold, bought a new place but settlement was about three months later. She negotiated with her buyers and paid them market rent to stay in the old house until she could move into the new place.
4. lots sell, move into a rental on a short term lease until they find somewhere to buy

Lots of people line up settlement dates fairly close together so it may only be a week to a month that they have to find somewhere to stay - motel, air bnb, friend, family, etc. If you’re selling, you know when settlement will be so you have time to find a rental if that is what you’re moving into.

Think about both the houses as if you hadn't offered on one. Which one do you most want to live in? (Everything considered, except for worrying about the fact you've made an offer on the first one) then act on that.

it's a shame for your vendor if you change your mind, but that's a risk you take accepting an offer when you haven't found somewhere yourself ' can't proceed with the sale

the English system is shit for buyers & sellers, but it's what we've got 💁🏻‍♀️ & you largely have to put yourself first (without being a complete cunt for the sake iof it) because it's SO much money & where you're going to live for a long time.

Don't miss out on the other house if you really want it x

EDIT: if she was that worried about the sale she'd stay with family/friends or rent. She had that choice but chose not to take it & instead tell you that you'd have to wait, she msy find out the hard way that, in fact, you do not have to!

Do it OP. We had the same and eventually lost our buyer as they weren't prepared to wait. It wasn't our seller, but their seller - after 2 months of faffing about he eventually found a property, everyone breathed a sigh of relief than 2 weeks later changed his mind and said he'd decided it wasn't his dream house so was going to pull out of that one and find another. Our buyer pulled out, then we had to find another and our sellers had to wait for us. We really wanted the house, and luckily we'd built up a good relationship with them and agreed we were both happy to wait while the chain sorted itself out, but it took forever.

Buying a house is life changing. Treat it as a business deal and do what's best for you.

In eg America, which I would not normally hold up as an example but which do hoyse sales well, time frames are part of the offer process. When you accept an offer it will contain a completion date. So you don’t market your house until you are ready to deal with that.

The offer will also be accompanied by a deposit, refundable under certain circs - eg if the house fails surveys. But there is also none of this nonsense about FTBs expecting an older property to be up to last year’s electrics code.

To be fair to the seller, it wasn’t worth her starting to look seriously, book viewings etc until she had accepted an offer on hers, otherwise she’d have been unable to make an offer as she wasn’t in a position to proceed. So it is a bit of a puzzle trying to get all the pieces lined up.

However, you’ve given it over a month with no movement so I don’t think it’s morally wrong to pull out now and legally you don’t owe her anything. If you love the other house, make your apologies and say you can’t wait any longer.

It would be different if she’d already offered, the chain was moving along and then you pulled out, but that also happens all the time, until exchange nobody is committed, which is both a failing of the system and also very handy in circumstances like this!

Go and see the other house and put offer in if you like it. We had similar two years ago with a seller not finding somewhere ..they still looking and the house is still on the market and we had to move on as we couldn't wait anymore. We got a better house in the end.

I had this last year. Sold my house, and found a lovely house where my offer was accepted. Six weeks on, the owners of the house I wanted to buy hadn't found anything. They were staying local, and the selling agent (as well as others) were sending them lots of options, doing viewings - but did admit they were being ‘fussy’ about certain things. Fair enough, it’s a big investment buying a house.

Also, my concern was when they found something - what if those people then needed to find something too?

My buyers were starting to get itchy feet, so I decided to reset my Rightmove / Zoopla alerts, within literally a couple of hours an amazing looking house came onto the market. I was first to see it - and I’m sitting in the kitchen of that house now typing this! It was a nicer house, £20k cheaper - and no chain!

I am a great believer in serendipity; this was meant to be.

I dreaded phoning the agent to tell them I was withdrawing the offer. But she was lovely, said she didn’t blame me. House went back on the market, didn’t sell (at least didn’t change to SSTC/sold on the website) - and then disappeared, so I expect they decided to stay put.

Stick with the house you actually prefer, but I don’t think this seller is being unreasonable. It’s been Christmas and New Year. Most people are readying their houses for spring sale when weather is better and the market picks up.

I hate myself for saying this but normal life rules of integrity don't apply when buying or selling a house. Ive learnt that the hard way! Ive tried to do things nicely but people don't mess around when their home and huge amounts of money are involved. You are perfectly within your rights to withdraw from the offer and you owe her nothing.