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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think "I'll send my kids to therapy" isn't a great plan

7 replies

PandoraJo · 04/02/2026 19:10

I'm surprised by often I'm hearing this , not just on MN, but in various parenting groups. Parent makes a decision that is likely to have a detrimental impact on their child(ren): conceiving a child by an anonymous donor, or moving a biracial child to a predominantly white area where they're the odd one out, or moving their boyfriend in even though the kids are unhappy about it. When people ask about the impact on the children, the parent brushes it off with "I'll get therapy for them when they're older".

I really don't think this is great parenting. If anything, it demonstrates how far therapy culture has spun out of control. A painful or traumatic situation isn't going to be magicked away by therapy. It's better not to make your child suffer in the first place.

Also, I think there's an unspoken undercurrent of "the therapist will help my child see I did the right thing for them", because realistically most parents aren't going to be gung-ho about therapy that may turn their child against them. But the truth is that, for many people, therapy actually validates the anger they already felt towards family members.

OP posts:
DarkForces · 04/02/2026 19:14

I assume it's shorthand for saying they'll deal with the consequences of their decision and aren't interested in discussing it with you

AnneLovesGilbert · 04/02/2026 19:44

I’ve never ever seen anyone say that.

MyLimeGuide · 04/02/2026 19:46

Are u sure they aren't just joking?

Swaytheboat · 04/02/2026 19:47

As above, I've never seen this written or heard it said in real life.

Obviously it's a shit approach.

sundayvibeswig22 · 04/02/2026 19:48

I’ve never seen anyone write that but if someone does then it’s weird.

rockingroller · 04/02/2026 19:49

If I ever hear someone say that I will assume they are joking.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 04/02/2026 21:03

well one of these isn’t like the other

having a kid by donor isn’t going to inherently make a kid need therapy 😒

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