To ask for your approach on ASD teens and driving

[MyVividOliveJoker]

DS is turning 17 soon and is keen to drive. It would help me and DH in terms of not having to give him lifts etc and also I can see it is a good life skill. It would also help him out in terms of getting to the college as opposed to the very longwinded bus he takes at the moment.

My concern is that he has ASD and gets very upset/panics when things go wrong. I worry what would happen if some other driver did something like pulling out at a junction when it wasn’t safe and DS had to slam on, etc. He also can lack common sense and focus which also would make me worry for him driving.

But on the other hand I also think ASD people shouldn’t be disadvantaged and lots of his NT peers will be learning to drive at his age. Money isn’t a concern and I would happily buy him a car/pay for lessons, it’s just that I worry.

AIBU to ask your opinions on this and what approaches you’ve taken with your own teens.

My kids aren't that old yet, but as an autistic person, I drive and have never been in a crash or unsafe. I'd strongly recommend he learn in an automatic, then he can focus more fully on the steering and road, without worrying about gears. I really struggled trying to switch my attention between the two, but it was an absolute game changer when I changed to auto.

I'd look for recommendations for a driving instructor with some autism awareness and expect it to take a little longer before he's ready for the test.

What’s his coordination like? Can he make quick decisions and would executive function difficulties impact on his driving? Proprioception could also be an issue.
Some autistic people can drive very well but it’s not advisable for all ( like anyone) An automatic could be great as PP suggests.
Our DD wanted a provisional licence for ID but was the first to admit she wouldn’t be able to learn to drive due to coordination difficulties and poor sense of direction, judging distance etc.
No reason why he shouldn’t try especially in a dual control car.
General advice from the NAS.

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/transport/driving/england

I’d ask locally for some recommendations for supportive and understanding driving instructors. Some will have plenty of experience of working with autistic and anxious teens.

You can get specialist driving instructors who work with disabled people who are learning to drive.

my dd (AuDHD) used one. He was great.

My autistic DDs have both passed their driving test.
They are both anxious, and one is REALLY anxious.
However much to my delight they have borh done really well.
We found a brilliant patient instructor (who is probably ND himself!)
Youngest DD is anxious about so many things. Ie going into post office to post a parcel but is confident about driving. All i can think if is that she has control, control of her environment, no one talking to her, control of when she leaves etc.
Tbh im dumbfounded but so proud and happy!
Give him a chance and see how he goes.
Finding the right instructor is key.
DD was really keen to learn but
first lesson she initially wouldnt come downstairs but I convinced her to come down and say hello to instructor , then he chatted to her and he showed her car controls , then he took her for a drive, then she drove down somewhere offroad like a really quiet car park .
she passed her test first time 😀

DD has been learning for 18 months now, my approach has been “no pressure”. She had a Test booked for Jan, but was too anxious, so we have moved it.

I can't advise as far as having teens in this situation but a good driving instructor should be able to assess his needs and how best to learn. DH is a an ADI and had a few pupils with Autism who have gone on to be perfectly competent drivers. It's about finding an instructor who takes the time to understand your son.