All the comments about her emotional presentation or lack of it really grind my gears.
I happen to know, from bitter cumulative experience, that prolonged periods of stress and trauma do very weird things to a person. It is medical fact that neurological pathways get re-wired, the brain physically changes as a form of self defence. It can be seen on scans. That's how it's known about, it's neuroplasticity.
Years of being bullied and under suspicion can lead to CPTSD. The brain goes into survival mode. Hypervigilance and paranoia are big features. After a while numbness can set in.
Crying or not crying is not a good indicator of guilt or how a person thinks or feels.
A couple of months after Iost my DP, the absolute most crushing blow on top of years of unexpected and difficult life events, I bumped into someone who knew him through his work, in a pub. They were celebrating their birthday and extremely drunk. I was not. They wept and wailed on my shoulder for nearly half an hour, while I stood dry eyed feeling completely semi-detached. And I'm sure they wondered how or why I wasn't falling apart, because to be fair I was wondering that too. But I couldn't just turn on the tears because a performance might be seen as appropriate.
When I was under scrutiny for three years, I read reports that criticised me for being too emotional - I was six weeks post partum after a traumatic birth and brwildered, terrified for my DC and angry. Down the line when I'd pulled myself together for the fight of my life, I was criticised for being too cold and analytical - but still angry. I could not win.And neither can Lucy Letby.
At that point what they didn't see was me sitting in cold baths at 3am because I truly believed I was going to self combust, because if what was hapoening was possible, so was every unlikely / impossible thing . And I couldn't even seek help or support for that because it would have given them another weapon to use in their quest to prove I was an unstable and unfit mother, because much like Lucy Letby, all their "evidence" was based on "medical opinion". I've written about it elsewhere on here if anyone wants to look. And I don't care if people think I'm lying, or biased, I have the receipts and I fucking lived it, and barely survived.
On this forum, people are very quick to criticise posters who claim they are shaking and crying for any reason. They are accused of lack of resilience. People are very quick to project how they imagine they would react or behave in certain situations. Certain experiences soon provide unwelcome enlightenment that everyone is different, and while crying might be a typical or expected reaction to certain things, sometimes a person doesn't for multiple complex reasons. We are complex individuals and much as we like to think we know it all, we really don't