Anyone else have fantastic adult dss?

[SonsRfab]

With the world the way it's going (backwards) I wanted to start a thread for those of us who have raised decent men.
I have 2 adult dss. Bith hard working. They respect women and those who deserve respect. One has a lovely girlfriend who has a strong nature and wouldn't put up with any shit. The younger has yet to meet anyone. His job makes that quite difficult but he will eventually if he wants to.
They're both lovely company. They have great manners and are kind.

I know I'm biased but I'd be extremely surprised if they ended up being immoral.

I know I'm not the only one with decent adult sons.

I grew up in the 70s/80s and it was hard to find a decent man in those days too. I despair for straight young women of today though as it seems worse

I'm really pleased you have such lovely DSS OP.

It's always reassuring to read about decent people when the news, and the threads on MN tbh are all about people who are the total opposite of decent.

I don't have any DSs but I do gave a DS who makes me proud.

oh my god, the self-congtatulatory Not My Nigels.

I too have a great son.
But as a class, men are responsible for 95% of sexual assault. So any woman who meets your son will rightly be wary, warier than when meeting a woman.
It's not women who form gangs to rape, pillage and assault ( except for one or two enabling women). I bet Jeffrey Epstein's mum is also surprised he turned out that way.

Why is this so hard to understand ?

Well my son is gay so I think the probabilities of him harming women in the ways you describe is so miniscule it's not really worth considering.

He has many friends who are women, is very much an advocate of women's equality in society in general and his work place in particular, and also is a great supporter of Women's sports.

So where as I agree there are many misogynistic and dangerous men about you really cannot tar all with the same brush.

Gay men can't be abusers or complicit in abuse? Boy George? Kevin Spacey?

Bill Gates was also a great proponent of women's rights. As was Bill Clinton. Actively involved in 'helping women'.

I find this thread really smug and in poor taste, given the revelations. Nobody is saying your sons are abusers.
Men, as a population, are vastly more likely to be. You don't have to rush to defend your sons. We all have great sons.
Bet men are not rushing to defend their daughters to make up for Ghislaine. Because the proportion of women abusers is so tiny we remember her name.
I am waiting for the "" ooh women can be so bitchy" posters.

I honestly didn't answer OP to be contentious.

If she is proud of her adult DSS then I'm genuinely glad. Why you want to undermine her happiness by wanting her to believe that what she sees is a sham and they are really sexual preditors and abusers but are hiding it from her I don't understand.

I'm as cynical as the next person about men. And of course all men , including gay men, have the capacity to behave heniously. But I am extremely close to my son and I think I know him a damn sight better than you, an anonymous stranger on the Internet.

I've always counted myself a feminist but I am really non plussed by your outrage at what I assumed was a pretty innocuous thread started by an OP hoping to present a more positive side to men at a time when the human cesspit of behaviour that is currently being revealed in the news is just absolutely depressing

@RichardOnslowRoper it's a thread to share some light in what feels like dark times.
I'm not defending my sons as I don't need to. Everyone who knows them can see what fantastic men they are.
I'm also not blaming parents for their sons not being decent. I've known many men who are terrible people but have come from what would seem decent homes.
I'm so glad dd has a decent dh. He's loyal and a good provider and father. He isn't perfect but who is? Dss aren't perfect either but afaik aren't what often feels like the majority of men,depraved.

I've experienced sexual abuse as a child and teen,from a few men. Also from boys when I was around 11? It's always been the same. I think the Internet has worsened it (perhaps?)

Anyway sorry if I've offended anyone. That wasn't on purpose.

I didn't say either of your sons are a sham. I said a good proportion of performative men are. I said men as a sex class are deeply problematic.

It isn't feminism to pop up with NAMALT every time men behave badly.

I have a lovely DD who is one of the good uns. She believes in equality for men and has many male friends. She supports sports for men. She has a lovely strong boyfriend who wouldn't take any abuse from her.

See how odd that sounds? And if it does, ask yourself why.

I took the post in the way you meant it op. I have two sons and they are the same.
Unfortunately they were sexually assaulted when young by an older boy so are quite aware of how it feels. It was dealt with officially.
I am a survivor of child sexual abuse so am well aware but do not tar every man with the same brush. Although it never surprises me how often it happens.

I said men as a sex class are deeply problematic

This is a pretty generalised statement that opens up a lot of debate. In particular about whether their behaviour is innate or whether, and how much, it is down to education and the power structure of society.

If you wanted to start a thread about how great your DD is then I expect I would have responded by saying I'm glad you have such a great DD because my experience of a lot of young women today is actually pretty negative.

You see, being older, my cynicism extends to women as well as men. Although admittedly their behaviour is no way as systematically abusive, violent, explotatative, unpleasant and dangerous as that of a lot of men. But I would probably be pleased to hear a positive narrative about someone's DD.

Nop. It's not a generalisarion to say men commit the vast majority- over 95 % of sexual crime. It's fact. Your sons-and my son- have the potential to be sexual offenders.

Your experience of young women is 'negative'? Are they bitchy or annoying or vain? As opposed to men killing women with crossbows, burning them alive, pushing them.off cliffs, traffcking and raping them? I can't take anything you say seriously now. The misogny runs too deep.

I get what you are saying OP. I have two boys who are preschool age so a long way off being men. But it makes me sad how it is assumed that most boys go 'bad'.

You see threads on here about women having gender disappointment with having boys, and are told sex doesnt matter, that boys and girls are just the same. Yet other threads are saying the likelihood is that these boys will grow up to be sexist, untrustworthy men. I experienced gender disappointment myself as I had imagined raising a girl with the 'you can do anything you want' attitude. Raising a boy seems so much more complex and there does seem to be more negativity towards them than girls. I fully understand that most severe crimes are committed by men, but the extreme hostility towards men as a group does make me feel sad.