Parents taking their children Urbexing

[MummyPop00]

Asking the question generally but in my case I’ve got an SEN teen who goes urbexing, which takes it to another level. There is no way I would be driving him to Urbex sites because I consider it a potentially dangerous activity, so I want to make things as difficult as possible by not facilitating it wherever possible. My views are reinforced by the fact my DS recently fell through a hole in a floor & ended up with concussion after visiting one of these sites.

I appreciate no matter how difficult we try & make things for him, putting limits on his funds for travelling etc he could still make his own way to some of these urbex sites regardless.

I’m dealing with other parents of SEN teens who drive their kids to some of these sites (and they have also drove my son to them on occasion , much to my annoyance) and their rationale seems to be that they also don’t want to facilitate urbexing, but want to try & mitigate risks by explaining the risks beforehand but they don’t always stay with their children after travelling to these sites…

‘Boys will be boys’ etc but AIBU for wanting to try & curb this potentially dangerous activity wherever possible?

It is dangerous. I can see that now I'm an adult but as an older mumsnetter, I spent my childhood exploring building sites and derelict houses. It was all part of growing up then but would my mum have been happy if she'd known - I dont think so.

I’m dealing with other parents of SEN teens who drive their kids to some of these sites (and they have also drove my son to them on occasion ,

Absolute madness. Even if they don't care about the welfare and safety of their own children they have no right whatsever to put your child in danger..

I would be doing everything possible to disassociate him from this group of friends and their irresponsible parents.

There surely must be other interests you can encourage your DS to get involved in?

Wouldn’t you be better trying to teach your dc how to assess risks and do this hobby in a safe way? Similar to the way they would be trained to play a sport safely etc?

Also, I think I’d be worried about them sneaking off to do it and ending up somewhere unable to get home and with me not knowing where they are. As such I think I’d probably try and do
some with him so it’s not ‘forbidden.’

And as PP said, as an adult I can understand how some of the things I did as a teen were dangerous (climbing trees, exploring an old mine 😳, jumping in/off a waterfall) but I didn’t know it then - and you couldn’t have told me, I wouldn’t have listened. Which is a bloody annoying thing about teenagers I think.

This is just another load of nonsense made insanely popular by SM surely? I've seen a few travel influencers visiting derelict sites abroad but had no idea it had a name.

You cannot assess the risks of an old abandoned derelict building beyond 'it's dangerous and you shouldn't be going there.' Suggesting people do it with their kids is like suggesting they do drugs with their kids - stupid.

I would be speaking to the friends parents and tell them in no uncertain terms that they are not to take your son to these places. Hopefully it will be a little less appealing or at least a little less dangerous if he doesn't have friends to show off to when he's there.

Surely it's illegal and you could report the parents to the police?

I believe it’s a grey area. Classed as Civil trespass if the place is open which is then up to the landowner, only becomes a criminal offence if the kids break in & start smashing up the joint & taking things…