Would you date your exes friend?

[Wishthingswerenouting]

Very controversial I’m sure.

if you had been in a relationship for 15 years, had broken up 3 years ago for a number of reasons but not least because you were raped, and your exes friend made their move stating they’ve always fancied you would you do it?

more context:

• you knew the friend before your ex
• they are very attractive
• it would be a strict “one time fun” thing only
• your ex has been a bastard since the breakup
• you do share dc so have some contact
• youve recently been enjoying single time and have found a thrill in casual sex and figuring out your sexuality after being in a relationship most of your life

would you enjoy the secret fantasy of shagging his hot friend or would you morally avoid at all cost?

Omg no.

Well yeah if you want recreational sex with him then why not? Just be up front that's it just a bit of fun and you're not after a relationship. Then go ahead.

I don't see why it makes any difference if he knows/knew your ex or not.

There are approximately 33.1 million males in the UK. You don't need to fuck one that knows your ex, is friends with your ex or is related to your ex. You may be angry with your ex for good reason. He sounds like an abusive prick. But, shaging his friend isn't going to make you feel better. Therapy, self care, being happy and successful that will make you feel better.

If you knew him first surely he's your friend not your ex's

Well this is my thinking 😂

bit of a split decision here it seems. I guess I’ll just see. He has suggested dinner but I’m not looking to date him I think it’ll just be one night of fun if I go ahead. I’m late 30s and spent my life in a relationship that I felt obliged to stay in. I’m truly enjoying “shagging about” a bit to put it bluntly.

No, you need a clean break from this entire sorry mess.

It sounds as if you're doing it for revenge.Rather than anything else.

You split with your ex three years ago.And it's time to move on. If you're still having this much anger towards your ex after three years, then you need some therapy to help you.

Im not angry at all. I’ve had a short relationship since. I don’t think about him.

his friend is very attractive and I knew him before ex. We’d kissed at sixth form then had no further contact until years later when meeting my ex I found out they were friends

All of my exes have been dubious characters, hence the ex part, so no I don't want to get with anyone he learnt his poor behaviour with or from. It would be pointless from a long term pov and would make both parties look like they were just trying to hurt someone who is probably doing a very good job of that for their own life.

That's all good. I'm a bit concerned he might want more than just random sex when you fancy it though. What with asking you for dinner. To me if it's just sex I'd be saying 'your place or mine?'

So do make sure he knows you're only after a bit of fun. Last thing you need is him pestering you for emotional attachment you're unwilling to give.

I would absolutely be shagging him, yes.

Assuming he’s aware it would be entirely casual.

And if your ex shagged your friend? How would you feel?

More importantly for you going forward, if ex did somehow find out would he twist things and say things to your kids?

Not a risk I'd be willing to take - plenty of hot men out there OP.

Hell no, especially with kids involved.

That's a really good way to make your co-parenting go really high conflict.

Your ex may be an asshat but so is his friend.

Sounds like a one way ticket to Jeremy Kyle land to me. Not worth any potential fallout.

(Unless he's actually Hugh Jackman, in which case I'd risk it.)

I’d raise an eyebrow at my friend but wouldn’t care about him doing it at all. I have no feeling towards him.

what could he say to my kids? Mummy slept with your dad’s friend? Not age appropriate at all but if that was the case that would say more about him and I’m very open with my kids anyway.