Be honest... would you blame the builder?

[Frenchcremefraiche]

Be honest. This is a post where you can safely acknowledge your own unreasonableness.

I know I AM being unreasonable and wont say/do anything but I wondered how many other people would automatically think the same thing? Be honest!

We are having some building work done and have been leaving the builder alone in the house. We've mot used him before but he came recommended and is a nice guy.

I've lost an expensive looking (but not) necklace. I'm pretty sure it's in the house.

However, when I went to get from where I expected it to be and it wasnt there. I am ashamed to say my first thought was the builder had taken it. 😔

Reasonable head says: dont be so stupid. This is the head I'm listening to.
Unreasonable head says: it's not where it should be and no one else has been in. This is the stupid head.

So, BE HONEST whose first thought would also go to the builder (even if you then, like me instantly thought stop being so stupid)?

YANBU - I would also automatically think the builder took it before dismissing the thought

YABU - It genuingely wouldn't even cross my mind.

(Replace your new cleaner/plumber/stranger for my builder)

Nope, I'd assume Id left it somewhere else. Or it's fallen behind a desk or something.

It would cross my mind but I’d know from past experience that I was being unreasonable and had misplaced it. For me losing track of items seems to be a mild anxiety response to strangers in the house.

I would assume it is missing, builders are financially secure and don’t need to steal. Maybe I’d suspect an apprentice.
OTOH I would never leave jewellery around while strangers are in my house.

Yes it would be my first instinctive thought OP. But it is highly unlikely.

If I have looked VERY thoroughly EVERYWHERE I'd consider it. If not, then no,

No, who in their right mind would steal when they were the only possible suspect and could jeopardize their business.

My wife's engagement ring went missing during the period when we had a huge amount of building work and trades in and out for months. Neither of us considered it to be stolen. Sadly it's never turned up but I have a feeling that it was dropped and later cleaned up accidentally

lol. my builder, like most blokes, wouldn't even notice a necklace. Plus, he's raking it in, so...I would pay more attention to this part of your thought...I'm pretty sure it's in the house.

I once got accused of stealing something I absolutely fucking didn’t. It’s devastating. To assume somebody has stolen from your house is a really knee jerk reaction. It’s much more likely that it’s been misplaced. Would a tradesperson, with a presumably good reputation, risk all that for some jewellery?

Also, your choices are disingenous (Replace your new cleaner/plumber/stranger for my builder). If I were to replace builder for 'stranger' for eg, then that is a completley different question (and bonkers situation, tbh)

This would be my first line of thought, but I am a bit scatty and put things down and forget where (I'm assuming it's in a box and not loose)
Two things:
a) I've worked as a cleaner and would never consider taking any of my employer's stuff, for reasons such as being suspected as an obvious candidate and not wanting to nick stuff anyway
b) My MIL leapt to this conclusion when she had builders in and couldn't find her handbag. We told her she was being ridiculous and she later found it in the safe place that she'd hidden it. But she had been adamant that they had taken it until then.

It would be very daft, as well as very wrong, to steal stuff, you would be the first person to be suspected.

I once had money stolen by a member of my own family in the most obvious way. Thereafter I even took my handbag to bed and kept it under the pillow. Its a horrible feeling to either suspect someone or to be suspected.

However I would lock away all cash, credit cards and valuables away so as not to tempt randoms who were in my house.

I clicked on unbu
However
I had a old friend as a cleaner,it was her business and she talked me in to letting her clean for me
And I lost a very nice full , unopened bottle of perfume
I'm afraid to say ,in my head I 100% thought she had taken it

My mum went away on holiday and my sister was staying and hosted a large dinner party with 25 people as the house is big.
Something went missing that my mum swore was downstairs. She remembered using it vividly and placing it there. Of course there were suspicions but more in the lines of did somebody break it by accident and hide it as they felt bad.
Two years later we found the thing in the loft. It was never where she thought it was. But she swore she thought it was there. It was impossible that it ever was there.
So yes I might consider the builder but equally I would also think I could have misplaced it.

Its natural for the thought to pop in your head but the most likely explaination is its misplaced, hope you find it soon

I had a very special ring (passed down the family).
Always kept in my bedroom drawer.
Carpet fitter left alone upstairs measuring up, and a couple of days later I couldn’t find the ring.

Looked absolutely everywhere, even in the garden.
Was so upset and totally convinced it had been stolen by the carpet fitter.
Three months later, I found it in the most obscure place.

Although they didn’t take it, I always hide stuff away now to avoid the same scenario.