Am I being paranoid?

[Tempnam]

Name change for this one. I want to know honestly if I am being paranoid on this.

So a little background, I started off with a nice normal relationship with my MIL, then a few years ago her and DH didn’t fall out, but disagreed on something. At the time she tried going through me to change his mind and I said I didn’t want to be involved. Things have been a little off since.

She had made numerous offensive and passive aggressive remarks at me. I know I am not being paranoid on this, it has definitely been the case. DH always says it’s just how she is and whilst what she says is offensive but it’s not personal. That’s a DH problem, I know…

Today though I’m unsure if I am being paranoid and would appreciate some honest feedback as I do now feel on edge around her and this might be now clouding my judgement.

She came to pick DC up this morning when I wasn’t in and apparently DH had asked her if she had broke the toilet seat last week. We had no prior discussion on this and I didn’t think it was her who broke it. When she came to drop DC home I was home and she randomly said “It wasn’t me that broke the toilet seat” to me.

When she left I said to DH your mum thinks I’ve been in your ear moaning about the toilet seat and I think that was a passive aggressive comment - like don’t be moaning at DH behind my back type thing. He disagreed and it’s now turned into a bit of a row.

AIBU? Or do would you think this is a bit off?
Appreciate I might be being touchy due to previous issues!

So what, though? I’m quite fond of my MIL but she’s tactless, bossy and not that keen on me. But I’m not in the least bothered.

Why would you care if your MIL thinks you’ve been complaining to her son about breaking a toilet seat?

I think it’s probably been on her mind all day and worried about it , if it came out that randomly…and she just wanted to put it out there and confirm it wasn’t her.

I don’t really care what she thinks, it’s just frustrating that DH never sees it the way I do so I am trying to gauge if he’s right and I’m reading too much into things or not.

I just think it’s not worth getting into a fight over. If it’s bothering you, the time to address it was to her face when she said it. Look puzzled and say ‘I don’t think I suggested you did…?’

When she left I said to DH your mum thinks I’ve been in your ear moaning about the toilet seat and I think that was a passive aggressive comment - like don’t be moaning at DH behind my back type thing. He disagreed and it’s now turned into a bit of a row.

I agree with your husband. You are completely overthinking it.

You are reading too much into things

I don't think I understand, is it this?

DH to her: Did you break the toilet seat last week?
DHM to him: No

Later in the day...

DHM to you: It wasn't me that broke the toilet seat.

End of it isn't it? She told you both.

You're the one that turned it into some kind of conspiracy theory! She told you both that she didn't break it. What is wrong with that? What am I missing?

YABU. She let you know she didn't break the toilet seat. It's a non-event that you've unnecessarily turned into a row and have made up some story as to why she said it. I can see why your DH doesn't see it the way you do.

I don't understand how you got from her saying she didn't break the seat to her thinking you've been having a go at DH about her/it.

Defo think you're over thinking this or looking for issues.

Thanks folks. I do appreciate the feedback. I was conscious I might be a bit touchy due to previous issues and I don’t want to carry that on or make things worse. It looks like I have maybe over thought this. I will take this on board. Thanks ladies