How long is too long to travel in a day with kids

[User28884995]

We have been invited go a very good long terms friends babies christening soon, it would be a three hour journey each way (on 3 trains) so 6 hours travel on the day, we would be able to be there for around 3 hours. I have a 1.5 and 5 year old and I just don’t know if it’s an ok idea to travel this distance in a day, we can’t go up the day before and would have to come back the same day so staying over to break the journey up isn’t an option. It is a close friend who we haven’t been able to see for some time due to the distance. Any opinions on what may be best to do? Is it unreasonable to travel this much on trains for lo’s in a day?

Personally I would do this as a one off. I've done a 12 hour train journey with an 18 months old before and it was okay. Take snacks, take activities, book a table seat including a seat for 1 year old.
People do longer flights with kids this age, the train can be fun for kids. You can walk about and stretch your legs. Only thing I would think about his how to get younger one to nap and when you are going to do this.

Dear lord what is it?
I might do it now with older children but we travel the length of the country back to family 9 hours on the train.
I'd not with children at those ages

I used to take DC when they were those’d ages and younger to Manchester for the day but it was only one train. I don’t think I would have done it on three trains.

Could you hire a car and drive?

I think it would be difficult with the train changes. Three hours on one train would be ok, but all those changes sound rough.

As others have said, could you hire a car instead?

Are you going alone with the kids or is there another parents around? if there’s another parent I’d leave them all at home and go by myself. Is there an option to drive? If so, how long would that take?

I have a 1yo and a 4yo and for a close friend/relative I'd do a 3 hour drive each way as a one off (though I'd prefer to stay overnight) but I wouldn't attempt it on a train. At least in the car the only people dealing with boredom etc is me/DH... plus we're free to stop as needed or leave earlier later.

I'd do the train by myself though, is that an option if you can't drive?

Driving in one thing but trains.... eeek
They will be SO ratty on arrival and keeping a 1.5 yo contained on a teian for that long isnt something i'd fancy.
So its a no from me.

Can you go on your own?

No, I wouldn’t. I’d possibly consider going alone (but a 3 hour train journey is not going to be cheap). I think this is one of those polite invites that they don’t expect you to take them up on.

I wouldn't trust that the train would run on time or that we'd make the connections. We went to London for the weekend with our primary age DC and our second leg train was cancelled, had to wait an extra hour at the station then the train was packed when we got on and the kids ended up sat on the train floor for 90 minutes. DH travels to three different sites every month and can't remember the last time his train was actually on time.

I'd either go by myself or drive.

Thanks for the thoughts. I’m actually still breastfeeding so not feeling able to leave my lo for the whole day if going alone as haven’t left them that long before and the drive is actually the same length of journey so had thought train would be more doable if it meant lo’s could at least move about. tricky one and not sure still what to do :/ thanks for others thoughts 👍

Train journeys are fun for children. I regularly took my DC of that age on similar journeys. But not dressed in fancy wedding attire clothes, and we wouldn’t come back the same day. I’d say the idea is actually doable but it won’t be very pleasant.

Leave your 5 year old with family / friends / babysitter. Go in the car and take the little one, time journey there for nap time. Enjoy afternoon and then leave at 6.30pm / 7pm (whenever is usual bedtime), put them in pyjamas, nappy, do breastfeed and then into car for “bedtime”. Transfer to cot when home. That’s what I would do :)
You could do this still with your 5 year old as well. Journey there just take things to do in car and stop for a break at a service station. On way back they will both me asleep.

I think the journey time is fine. But trains on a Sunday(?) are not the most reliable. I would be worried about making connections work - both in terms of timing and getting from one train to another with steps, buggies etc.
I would also worry about delays/cancellations. And I think the return trip would be a nightmare with tired, over-excited DCs. Having to wake them up to do the changes etc.

I would be absolutely fine doing it in a car. If all else fails you can just turn around and come home again!

If you decide to go for it call them to book a ticket and ask for assistance.
DM does it all the time and its available to anyone who might need it.
A lovely person will meet you off the train and make sure you and your stuff get on the right train for the transfer. So you don't have to struggle with children/bag/buggy etc.

sadly no service for entertaining them once you're on there though.

I generally work to the rule that travel should not take longer than the time spent there. I might stretch that a bit for something special like a christening, but 6 hours for 3 hours there tips it a bit too far. Also 3 trains each way is asking for trouble, and I've struggled to make connections as a reasonably fit adult with minimal luggage (yes, if the previous train's late they'll accept it's their fault and let you on the next one, but good luck getting a seat without a reservation).

Relying on 3 separate trains to all be on time, twice in a day, in the UK? Utter madness, before you add in taking small kids with you.

can you go on your own?

Mine would have been fine but they were fairly placid kids and used to long journeys, including public transport. We all love trains. Most other kids don’t look like they’d manage.

Leave kids with DH, go alone.

As to breastfeeding, I am still BF my toddler but there is no need to take a 1.5 year old with you for that reason, don't be ridiculous.

If you wanted to take a child with you, take the 5 year old. The 1.5 year old will just run around everyone and cause chaos.

If you really want to go, express your milk and go alone. This is an unfair thing to put two young children through.

If driving is an option, I’d do that. Three hours with a break in the middle would be fine. Changing trains would be trickier IMHO.

Exactly this!! 6 hours on a train makes for a long day and 3 trains each way with little kids sounds horrendous.
don't do this to yourself!