Teenager refuses to go to college part 2.

[Aghhhhhhhhhh]

Thank you to everyone on the previous thread who gave advice etc.

Today I finally grew a back bone after more college refusals and I rang the phone provider and moved his sim onto PAYG starting from next month.. hes not happy about it but ive told him this time im sticking to my boundaries that im making.

Also told him that if (when) he gets thrown off the A level courses I will be phoning the broadband provider and getting the internet barred to his devices (console/phone) or if I cannot do this (not sure my provider has this option its not readily available information on their FAQs) i will be removing the console.

Theres been some name calling on his behalf towards me and the usual threats to 'take the RAM out of my PC' etc so to remove that risk ive moved my PC to my bedroom where I can lock it away as I have a lock on my door.

He told me he would start going to college on Sunday and hes not bothered yesterday or today and he 'doesnt know' about tomorrow. I have spoken to college twice now, rearranged his time table, tried to get support etc but hes not bothered. Yes hes Autistic but my patience has run out now im afraid. Yes some of this is Autistic burnout but alot of it is power plays and a complete lack of respect for me (he openly tells me he has no respect for me etc) and a general contempt towards me. Time for some tough love I tbink

I haven't read the previous thread. But what's the point in him going to college if he's sat there in body but not mind? I would cut all internet

@BlueJuniper94 I need to give him one final chance to start going in. He knows the score now and that I mean it this time.

Even if he goes to college at this point he is not bought into it so there seems little point What does he want to do instead? After 16 there are a lot more options open he doesn't HAVE to do A levels.

@Littletreefrog he doesnt want to do anything... wants to sleep all day and game all night.

Yes, I would do this. He can certainly do a different course, but he cannot do nothing other than sleep and game. I’ve got a dS17 and he would be getting the same treatment.

Could he look into a course like game design or something like that? I feel your pain, it’s properly shit, I feel like my teen is horizontal 95% of the time

Does he have an EHCP? I’m sorry, but this is clearly autistic burnout . If you continue to push, I hope you are prepared for the consequences.

Most broadband have parental controls you can do via an app on your phone.

I think sounds like your doing the right thing op. You know him the best and can totally see the difference between burn out and being a lazy little sod.
My own ND teens often need prodding structures and boundaries. College wouldnt work for them as its too unstructured, too many people and too much responsibility.

Yes some of this could be burn out, but a lot of is downright disrespect and you can still have a boundary that he cannot sit at home and game all day. Education or part time job at the minimum, I don’t think that’s unfair at all.

I didn't see your previous thread so you may be well aware that he's likely to end up NEET? It sounds as if that's where he's heading. I'd strongly suggest that you sit with him asap to read online information about NEET, age boundaries, universal credit, mandatory engagement with support programmes etc. (And set out exactly how much of UC he'd be handing over to pay for his keep: time to show him the household bills!) If he understands what's going to happen to him, and what he'll be obliged to do, he may possibly decide going to college is actually a better, more fun option?