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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Returning to work after maternity leave.

19 replies

CDTC · 03/02/2026 10:17

Apologies for putting this here, I wasn't sure where to add the thread.

I'm due back to work on April 1st. Before maternity leave I had several meetings with HR, at least one of which it was mentioned that I would be returning part time, there was no issue with this and was told it is expected and they are fully flexible with my hours upon returning.

It is now February, I have had two meetings with HR recently, one 2 weeks ago. I was asked what hours I would like, how many etc. I asked for 4 mornings per week totalling 16 hours with revising this in September and possible upping the hours. I told HR that I need confirmation on my hours asap as I will lose the nursery place I have secured due to not being able to commit to hours, I simply cannot ask nursery to hold all hours all week for me, they need to know how many hours and which days. I was told that is fine, they understand and they will get back to me as soon as possible as they might prefer two full days instead of a mix of the two.

I asked again via email last week for an update. I was told basically, in a nice way, I have no chance of getting any update on my hours for the foreseeable, they need time to look at it properly etc etc. They understand that my nursery place is at risk and I will have no childcare but there is nothing they can do.

I have now lost the nursery place and I'm still no closer to knowing what hours I can return to and I'm supposed to go back in just over 7 weeks. Is this how it is? They've had since March last year to talk about my returning hours.

It's worth noting that I work for a large company that runs on skeleton staff. For the whole company including warehousing etc there are 40 staff, customer service, buying, transport, complaints, design etc etc is run by 9 staff. My role is one of the busiest however, I was always very clear I wouldn't be returning full time and said from the outset I would be returning to 16 hours or thereabouts until the baby is around 2.5 then I can up the hours to full time. I didn't demand anything though as it sounds that way when I write it down, I did ask if this was okay and have always been flexible and worked around every one else. Other members of staff have returned on less hours than this and less days so I was always told this is okay and again, expected.

I suspect my manager (who admittedly is very lazy and doesn't do a whole lot, she works from home several times a week and when you call her she is always out on a walk or at an appointment also.) is taking the stance of that she doesn't want more work to do and they can't sack me so if they hold out long enough I'll have to quit then they can employ someone full time. They are keeping on the lady who is covering my role however, another team member has retired so she is stepping into that role. They won't employ another person due to desk space and finances.

I'm guessing they can now turn down my request for part time and I don't know what to do as now I don't have nursery, there is nothing between here and work that is available until 2027 for dds age. It's so frustrating, if they had said in the meetings about returning full time I could have applied for a different job at least and kept the nursery. We have no family on either side and another DD that is school age. Urgh.

OP posts:
User415373 · 03/02/2026 10:21

Hi, did you formally submit a flexible working request?

ShakyFridge · 03/02/2026 10:23

here was no issue with this and was told it is expected and they are fully flexible with my hours upon returning.

How did they tell you this? Was it by email/letter?

MidnightPatrol · 03/02/2026 10:24

Why didn’t you just keep the nursery place, given the alternative to not getting your chosen hours was finding a new job anyway? You knew you’d need a place..?

I think you’ll be hard pressed anywhere to get 16 hours of work split over four mornings a week.

Whether you like your manager or approve her WFH is neither here nor there - not confirming your hours is annoying though, maybe a call to pregnant then screwed to understand when they are obliged to confirm by would be helpful.

ShakyFridge · 03/02/2026 10:26

They have 2 months to consider a flexible working request so it really depends when you made the firm request with hours. If this is only 2 weeks ago then unfortunately you've possibly left them some leeway. I would second Pregnant then Screwed.

CDTC · 03/02/2026 10:29

It's all very relaxed at work, they don't have a habit of doing things properly and I don't know what the procedures are tbh so unfortunatly everything has been said to me and written down in HRs notebook. No one has submitted a formal request, I have asked a colleague a minute ago and she said she just asked to return 2 mornings a week and it was granted.

As for the 4x mornings, one of my roles is complaints, it is better for my role to be on 4 mornings a week as I can keep on top of everything, I did say I am flexible on days but was told that it sounds better to be in 4 days to answer emails rather than leaving them building up for 5 days either side for example.

I had to let the nursery place go as I need funded hours and I can't get that if work won't confirm my hours.

OP posts:
SJM1988 · 03/02/2026 10:32

Why didn't you just keep the nursery place for full time until it was decided? That is what I did. I booked DD in for full time nursery until my reduced hours were decided. I've ended up working every day for less hours so needed the place every day rather than dropping a day.
If it was a formal request to a change in your working hours they have 8 weeks to decide that. I doubt you will get a decision much before the 8 weeks. It doesnt really matter you have been telling them since before you went on maternity leave, they won't look at it until a formal request is in.

CDTC · 03/02/2026 10:33

Also I only mentioned my manager to give some insight as to why I think she's delaying.

I have visited work 5 times during maternity and each time I have seen HR where it has been mentioned about part time hours it was just more official last time. It's extremely relaxed on things like this usually so a conversation is generally all it takes for anything. All I wanted was a yes or no or what hours they need me for. Maybe I was asking too much.

OP posts:
FancyCatSlave · 03/02/2026 10:35

It sounds as though you haven’t actually submitted a formal statutory request? If they don’t have their own form you use the one on https://www.gov.uk/flexible-working/applying-for-flexible-working

Then you have some legal comeback if they don’t follow the processes. Informal doesn’t cut it.

Flexible working

Requesting flexible working, how to make an application, what business reasons an employer can give to reject an application and how to appeal.

https://www.gov.uk/flexible-working/applying-for-flexible-working

Jellybunny56 · 03/02/2026 10:35

You need to submit a formal flexible working request, they then have 2 months to respond.

CDTC · 03/02/2026 10:36

SJM1988 · 03/02/2026 10:32

Why didn't you just keep the nursery place for full time until it was decided? That is what I did. I booked DD in for full time nursery until my reduced hours were decided. I've ended up working every day for less hours so needed the place every day rather than dropping a day.
If it was a formal request to a change in your working hours they have 8 weeks to decide that. I doubt you will get a decision much before the 8 weeks. It doesnt really matter you have been telling them since before you went on maternity leave, they won't look at it until a formal request is in.

They didn't have full time hours available. Everywhere is booked solid since the 9 months hours have come in. They had Fridays all day, some afternoons and some mornings. I could have done a mix, I could have done 4 mornings but I couldn't ask them to hold a Monday afternoon, Tuesday morning, weds afternoon, Thurs all day for example just in case, nursery were clear they need to know by X date, I told work this.

OP posts:
CDTC · 03/02/2026 10:37

Okay thanks everyone. I just didn't know. I'll do the form and see what they come back with.

OP posts:
SJM1988 · 03/02/2026 10:56

CDTC · 03/02/2026 10:36

They didn't have full time hours available. Everywhere is booked solid since the 9 months hours have come in. They had Fridays all day, some afternoons and some mornings. I could have done a mix, I could have done 4 mornings but I couldn't ask them to hold a Monday afternoon, Tuesday morning, weds afternoon, Thurs all day for example just in case, nursery were clear they need to know by X date, I told work this.

Sorry but I still would have kept all the day and slot until work had decided. You now face the position on no childcare for the days/hours you have requested.
It might have meant a month of paying extra for days and times you didn't need in the long run but in order to secure a place it would have been worth it.
Now what will you do for childcare if work say ok 4 morning works for us

CDTC · 03/02/2026 11:14

SJM1988 · 03/02/2026 10:56

Sorry but I still would have kept all the day and slot until work had decided. You now face the position on no childcare for the days/hours you have requested.
It might have meant a month of paying extra for days and times you didn't need in the long run but in order to secure a place it would have been worth it.
Now what will you do for childcare if work say ok 4 morning works for us

Like I said, I didn't know I could do that. My contract for work is for 40 hours, not for 16. If I need funded hours I need prove I'm working for 16 which I can't. I also can't afford just to pay a month of nursery fees. I just didn't know I could fudge it I thought I needed confirmation from work.

OP posts:
ShakyFridge · 03/02/2026 16:00

In fairness the whole point of these meetings with HR is to explain things like them having 8 weeks to decide once you have asked for specific hours (not just "I want to go part time"). I suspect they didn't do this on purpose if you think they want to push you out.

whatcanthematterbe81 · 03/02/2026 22:28

SJM1988 · 03/02/2026 10:56

Sorry but I still would have kept all the day and slot until work had decided. You now face the position on no childcare for the days/hours you have requested.
It might have meant a month of paying extra for days and times you didn't need in the long run but in order to secure a place it would have been worth it.
Now what will you do for childcare if work say ok 4 morning works for us

Not sure about this. I own wrap around care a company and if someone asked me to hold every day I would be taking the money for the first term. if someone asked for every day and then half of them dropped off last minute I’ll lose that money when I could have given to someone else. I do have a waiting list but it’s very intricate slotting everyone in. Maybe different for nurseries

CDTC · 03/02/2026 23:30

whatcanthematterbe81 · 03/02/2026 22:28

Not sure about this. I own wrap around care a company and if someone asked me to hold every day I would be taking the money for the first term. if someone asked for every day and then half of them dropped off last minute I’ll lose that money when I could have given to someone else. I do have a waiting list but it’s very intricate slotting everyone in. Maybe different for nurseries

This was my take on it..holding the hours just in case I used them seemed like a cheeky thing to do and if I didn't need half the days, which I wouldn't, they'd be out a lot of money or I'd have to pay It and I can't afford that. It can't be the way every one does it can it?

OP posts:
CDTC · 03/02/2026 23:32

ShakyFridge · 03/02/2026 16:00

In fairness the whole point of these meetings with HR is to explain things like them having 8 weeks to decide once you have asked for specific hours (not just "I want to go part time"). I suspect they didn't do this on purpose if you think they want to push you out.

Surely that's on them to explain that to me given that they should know the rules and I don't? To be told they would give me an answer asap and then last second say actually, no we won't be, is a bit of a shitty thing to do. But then that shouldn't surprise me, the HR lady didn't actually train to do any hr, she worked in a spa giving treatments before this role.

OP posts:
Meadowfinch · 03/02/2026 23:37

Op, that doesn't sound good. I strongly recommend you take out family legal cover before you return to work. It should be part of your house insurance.

If they stitch you up you will need a solicitor and possibly a barrister to go to tribunal, and they are very expensive.

SJM1988 · 04/02/2026 08:51

whatcanthematterbe81 · 03/02/2026 22:28

Not sure about this. I own wrap around care a company and if someone asked me to hold every day I would be taking the money for the first term. if someone asked for every day and then half of them dropped off last minute I’ll lose that money when I could have given to someone else. I do have a waiting list but it’s very intricate slotting everyone in. Maybe different for nurseries

Its quite common where I live with most nursery I spoke to. I got until a month before to confirm actual days, then I would be liable for the first months days. We also only need to give a months notice to drop days / hours. Nurseries don't struggle to fill there spaces here though so if someone drops usually they have someone else lined up ready to go.

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