Serious hair issues, go grey?

[Hairissueshelp]

NC as outing personal description.

I have always had long thick black/brown hair. I am now 43 and have huge pure white sections on top, dark still underneath. I am fair skinned so when the white grows through I look bald on the top!! I also can not go short as my hair is too thick and my ears stick out 😆

My hair grows really quickly. I have tried highlighting it and spent a year going light but my hair started to break off so I stopped and used a box colour and use light brown which is still quite dark overall.

The box colour is making my hair dry and frazzled now.

Does anyone have any solutions or ideas? I am wondering to let it go grey/white but there are big white patches, some salt and pepper and then dark underneath.

What can I do?

My hair looks shit all the time and now I just put it up and hardly ever style it or even bother to wash it now.

Anyone had similar hair? Or a hairdresser with ideas?

I would start with a good cut. Do you have a wave or curl? Work with your hair’s natural tendency, get it in good shape and condition, and then decide about colour.

Thanks, my hair is thick and now very frizzy and dry, no wave or curl, its also flat on top where there is less dye and then a huge frazzley bush at the bottom

Box dye uses high strength peroxide which is likely causing damage. From memory it’s 40% Demis
can be used with 1.9% and shouldn’t cause any damage. I switched a few years ago and coverage hasn’t changed for me and my hair is thanking me for. I doubt box dyes come with low % but pro products do such as Wella Colour Touch and the developer comes in 2 different strengths both low percent peroxide

Oh that's very helpful, thank you. I will look into the ingredients and what kinder dyes are out there. Potentially the ones i am using are too harsh.

I would ask around for recommendations for a good hairdresser and make an appointment for a consultation. I stopped dyeing my hair during lockdown because my roots were showing every 2 to 3 weeks and I just couldn't be bothered any more. Growing it out was a bit of a pain and it did look messy for a while but now I've got a shoulder length bob which is different shades of grey and I love it ☺️ suits my skin tone better as well, I look less washed out than I did with coloured hair!

It's a big step and not for everyone but I stopped colouring mine because it looked awful, something about my hair it just doesn't take colour well and looks worse rather than better. So I let it grow out, went quite short initially to get rid of the coloured parts and re grew it. It took some getting used to when I looked in the mirror, but the condition is the best it's ever been. In your case with the hair problems you describe, I'd give it serious consideration. Even if you just give your hair a break for a few months and let it grow out and recover, you can always get it coloured again if you don't feel ready to embrace the grey. I did this a couple of times in my 40's before deciding to save the money of 6 weekly touch ups at the hair dresser (had given up on doing it myself by that time as the results were so awful) and just let it be natural. With a really good cut/style I think grey hair can look amazing.

What about trying the plantur 39 colour shampoo for brown hair. It will colour it without all the chemicals of box dye