Partner working away

[Mhunx]

Am I being unreasonable for being upset that my partner is taking a job which requires at extreme him working away for 10 days at a time. I don’t really have much adult interaction at the moment as everyone around me is obviously at work. We have an 8 week old, a 16 month old and I have a 6 year old from a previous relationship. I’ve tried to ask why it is he wants to take a job which requires him to be away from us so much at a time and that I’m going to struggle and find it difficult being on my own with such young children all the time. I’m also concerned when I will see him and when we will all have family time together and if our relationship is doomed. He can’t seem to see why I’m upset and just says he doesn’t care how I feel regardless he’s going to take the job. Can anyone who has a partner that works away tell me their experience and if I am being silly

How often will he be working away?

maybe he is working like a trouper and trying to secure a future for you all?

DH and I have always had jobs that involved working away: DH was away full time when DD was a baby and I’m away about 50% of the time now. It’s the nature of our jobs and something we both knew about before having DD.

I bet this isn’t the first red flag for your partner though……

Its a permanent thing but his working week will always be different patterns if that makes sense. In different cities working overnight so obviously it will require him staying in the cities rather than travelling back as the furthest one is 5 hours away

Assume you aren’t married. You’re very vulnerable in this relationship.

He’s working away so he doesn’t have to parent either his own babies or his step child .

I wasn’t aware of this before having our second baby. He sprung it on me just after he was born

<sigh>

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5345989-partner-giving-me-the-silent-treatment

Such a big change should require both parties to agree to it. It's worrying he can't see your point of view. Do you work?

My husband worked away like this for a few years when our kids were little. In the beginning it was hard but to be honest, I got to like it after a few months. Yes I was occasionally a little resentful when he would phone me before heading out for dinner or whatnot but when the kids got into a good routine, it was lovely. Long evenings to myself, less cleaning etc, was bliss 😅

"He can’t seem to see why I’m upset and just says he doesn’t care how I feel regardless he’s going to take the job."

This is not the behaviour of a supportive partner. Big decisions which affect the whole family need to be made together.

Out of Interest, is this a genuinely good opportunity for him? I.e. significantly more money and/or better prospects for the future? If so he may have good intentions but the fact he says he "doesn't care" how you feel is still a massive red flag

Poor 6 year old - collateral damage in his mother’s relationship choices.

I worked in the same job for 12 years and got made redundant just before Christmas. I agree it should be a mutual thing but he doesn’t and says it’s controlling on my part to not want him to work away

He is abdicating from family life that’s why he is taking the job. I think it’s fairly clear you shouldn’t have had kids with this man, but what’s done is done.

I’d seriously start looking at how to financially protect yourself as I’d say this is the beginning of the end. And I say this as someone whose DH has worked away since we met 25yrs ago.

Sorry please explain… he can be away for 10 days at a time. I asked how often and you said permanent.

how does that work?

he just be at home in between? So how many days is he at home before he if off again?

My 6 year old is completely happy thank you 🙂Thriving in all aspects of life

What a bizarre thing to say

Controlling?! How ridiculous. In the same way he is being controlling towards you as you are now forced into solo parenting for long lengths of time with no say in the matter! Why does he want to change job?

Sorry he did the job before and he said at most he worked away 10 days at a time before coming home again for maybe 3/4 days and then he would go again

You were told 6 months ago that this was an abusive man who doesn’t care about you.

He can’t seem to see why I’m upset and just says he doesn’t care how I feel regardless he’s going to take the job

I really hope this is a great career prospect that will build you all a better life for the future, I have a feeling this isn’t the case though. And even still the above comment is just 🚩🚩🚩🚩

@Mhunx
Living with a man who is abusive to you and doesn’t care about you?? You think that makes for a happy childhood for your boy? Don’t delude yourself.

People like you really make me laugh

”your husband is abusive but here have another kick while your down from a bitter cunt on the internet”

if you can’t be supportive then fuck off and go and find some pigeons to scream at

She was told months ago that he was an abusive cunt. Yet she stayed with him. And yes it’s the children who need help.

So is it:

OP heres the problem …
MNet heres the best solutions ….

OP la la la I can’t hear you …..

Jesus. So what if she’s posted before? So what if she didn’t actually take any action on any advice proffered. This woman is struggling and has three children. For the love of god if all you want to do is treat her like absolute shit with your answers, and act exasperated that she didn’t listen to any of your advice and give petulant replies, just stay silent and hide the thread. Honest to God, some of your replies are sickening and you should be ashamed of yourselves.