To feel awful for my sister, i don’t know how to help her?

[DurableMatts]

My sister is a primary school teacher. She has been Job sharing her post for the last 3 years (2days 1 week and 3days the next) she is now ready to go back full time from sept as her dd will be in school. ( and will be attending the school she teaches in) she is so nervous to notify her school because the woman who has been doing the job share with has had a really tough time lately and has had to leave her dh. Now I know this woman probably will be able to find another job but it will be a drive away and you guesses it (she doesn’t drive) she lives a short walk from the school. She knows this other woman is very emotional and has herself all worked up over how she will react to the news. When she renewed the job share last year the other teacher made a flippant comment about how after all this time she considered the job share a given. She is sick at the thought of it all kicking off this week and I’m so worried about her.
We are in Ireland and this is how the system works here, a job share usually is a post shared by someone who owns the full time post as such.

I have explained why her plans changed

Its black & white. Emotion doesn't come into this. If your sister is going back full time, she is going back full time. Bills need to be paid. No explanation needed.

I think your sister needs assertive training, or to do some role play. Its not her problem
.....at all.

You apply for it officially around this time of the year. It gives everyone plenty of notice for September.

Yes this 🙌

I’m so worried about her.

I think you need to get some perspective 😂.

She needs to say something like, 'I'm sorry this probably wasn't the news you wanted but I will be coming back full time from September' and then she needs to get on with the rest of her life.

Does this really necessitate other family members worrying about her over?! What do you actually think is going to happen?

The closing date was only the other day so there may be another teacher who wishes to job share and they could slot into that role .

Or there may be a temporary fixed term/mat leave coming up in the school.

Other than that it is unfortunate but that is always the case with job share. It's not even a guarantee from year to year.Lots of schools I know of are not facilitating job shares if they are finding it very hard to get teachers.

Your sister needs to fund her big girl pants and stick them on.

A job share is a 1 year fixed term contract. There are 4 things with teaching in Ireland: Permanence, Annual fixed contract, job share and subbing.

The other teacher chose to apply for a job share. Where did she work before here? She's s grown woman and can learn to drive or take a bus if she needs to go elsewhere.

Irish here, OP, and a family full of teachers so I’m very familiar with the system!

Your sister hasn’t done anything wrong. She has a permanent post, which she has no doubt earned, and with that comes the option to make temporary arrangements like this. The other teacher went into this knowing it was very unlikely to be a permanent situation, and it would be very unfair of her to emotionally blackmail your sister at this point.

For what it’s worth, I think it’s great that the system offers this sort of flexibility - job shares are usually entered into by teachers with young children themselves, and it wouldn't be much use if reducing your hours temporarily for family responsibilities meant you could never go back to full time again. Shouldn’t we all be advocating for more of these sorts of family-friendly workplace policies, not fewer?

I think it is February the 1st, yesterday. Op, has your sister applied for jobshare and now going to retract? Is that why she's worried?

Im sure thats ok seeing as it was only yesterday and probably not been approved or prosessed by B of M.

I have no idea of the other teachers history or experience, I didn’t ask

What I mean is that your sister should have applied for the job share by now

Yeah as far as I know she spoke to the head teacher last week and she said that tomorrow would do for official notice etc I didn’t ask too much detail on that. Or has she already made it official but the other teacher will find out this week maybe?

Yeah I’m not entirely sure but I’m sure she has done it all correctly.

Ah, I see. Well its out of her hands now. Principal will probably inform other teacher of this development. Thats what's most professional imo.

It's an awkward rather than 'awful' situation, but your sister needs to treat it like a sticking plaster that she has to rip off. Most likely the other woman will get a new job, maybe with more hours, which she might need without partner, and that's the end of it.

I know what it's like to dread letting someone down or maybe upsetting them with a decision that you have to make for your own good, but it's never as bad as you think when you actually do it. I felt awful having to evict a family living in my house (it was my home initially but I moved out with now DH) and it was pretty stressful (obviously it would have been way more so for them, which was why I felt so awful) but my family needed a larger home - ours was smaller than that house - and I could only get that by selling up.

As I said to her at least she doesn’t actually have to see her every day 🤣😅 but she knows she will make this difficult i suppose 😫

Good.
Those new job sharing teacher roles are very unsettling for the children.
It’s only done because there is no alternative.
I am sure the school will be able to use the PT teacher for resource lessons.
They are often short of resource teachers.

This person is lucky to have had a part time in walking distance from her home for the past couple of years, most working mums do not get the luxury of this at all. Your sister should not feel guilty.

She doesn't sound like a great addition to the school if she's that entitled. Maybe the principal wont want her back.

Yeah maybe. Although I know the SET teacher they have is shared with another school so I don’t know if they have a need.

yeah I thought this to myself to be honest.

That’s a very dramatic thread title for a slightly awkward work situation.
This woman knows the terms of her employment.
It’s no different to covering maternity leave or a career break. I can understand having some sympathy for her but
your sister has no reason to feel guilty and shouldn’t allow herself to be emotionally manipulated.

Who knows what the principal will decide.
I am a bit surprised that she is a non driver as a teacher, my niece is in her 4th year and has placements everywhere including Co Donegal and Kerry for the Gaeltacht.

But wouldn’t the other woman have to consent? In the school I teach in, if a member of staff wishes to change their days or hours they have to request it; it isn’t a given and it could well be refused.

That's what I was thinking. It's an absolute necessity to drive in the job, most schools are rural and not served by public transport.

She would definitely pick up a job share in another school if she wanted it but obviously not driving makes it a huge issue.