To take my 5 year old abroad on city break but not 3 year old

[Alpineal87]

My friend has invited me and my 5 year old on a city break abroad. Her son and my daughter are the same age. Her husband hasn’t been well in recent years so can’t travel abroad so she does solo trips or trips with friends. I’d really like to take my daughter. I think she’d enjoy the 1:1 time that we don’t usually get anymore. My husband said he’ll plan something at home with our 3 year old to entertain him, maybe book a night or two away.
Is it bad parenting to go and leave my 3 year old out? I feel guilty. Is it giving my 5 year old any unhealthy messages about how to treat her sibling, like does it come across as unfair favouritism?

Thanks!

Of course. Just do it.

Makes sense

No not at all, it’ll be great to have some 1-1 time together

Sounds lovely…and your husband is making plans to do something nice with your 3yo. You both get 1:1 time with one of your little ones, they will both get a lot out of it. Sounds like a win!

She won’t even remember it after a few days. Go for it!

It's completely sensible and totally normal. It's also a good idea in my opinion for younger siblings to understand early on the concept that just because their sibling does something doesn't mean they can do it too.

I think that’s fine. I take mine away separately. I took them both away at 5 solo as it’s a really good age for independent travel. I took my 7 year old away for a city break recently and left the 13 year old home. She’ll get a go next time because she loves a pool and beach holiday that the younger one would not enjoy.

Of course it’s fine. A 3 year old is kind of a pain on a city break if I’m honest and probably wouldn’t even enjoy it . You don’t have to do everything together all the time

It’s fine. Besides, your three year old is getting 1:1 time with their parent at the same time.

I have a 3yo op, and judging by HOW aware and mature she is there’s no way I could leave her behind. Mine would certainly not ‘forget’ and be absolutely distraught.

My DD has a similar age gap and always took the eldest away on her birthday. The children have different interests etc, so we do what each child would like. As long as things equal out, it makes sense to do what you are doing.

Go for it, both dc are getting 1:1 time with their parents.

I did it last year with 5yo leaving almost 3yo at home. I’ll take the younger somewhere another time. He had a great time with his dad.

It's absolutely fine. Your DH can big up the fun things he is going to do with the 3yo so he doesn't feel left out.

No - I take my kids away separately and always have done (have had lots of together holidays too). I am planning to take my 17 year old daughter abroad for her 18th, I asked my 14 year old son if he minded (he actually suggested it in the first place) and he's well happy because his dad's taking him somewhere and that's far more exciting than 'lying on a boring beach' 😂 Definitely do it

Sounds like a great idea, given that your partner is on board and plans to do nice things with the 3 year old.

Go for it!