Manager is abrupt in his approach

[Chefpig]

A senior manager, not my line manager, is a really bad communicator and when he sends emails he often doesn't start them with a 'hello...' and if he's requesting something he doesn't say 'please'. It's so frustrating, but am I BU?

Mehhh... Does it really matter. Emails stating with hello. I hope you are doing well... Is he British? I am not and having to add all the extra fluff that no one means it's exhausting

@Chefpig apart from the fact that you'd like a hello, in what ways is he a bad communicator?

I think I get on some people's nerves because I'm too flowery. I don't think there's an easy way round this. Other people will be cross if they don't get all the frills.

Yes I dislike the frilly approach “I hope you are well / how are you today”. But I do expect a “Hi ThirdStorm” and an occasional “thanks for supporting me get this sorted”.

No, you're not being unreasonable. I work with someone like this. I found the trick is to remember that it's not personal. Keep your own boundaries in check as much as you can and always answer with formal greetings yourself. With any luck he will learn over time. You could end up teaching him how to respond to you properly if you keep your own boundaries on track! It's what I found with the person I'm working with. They've ended up pulling themselves up and making an effort to communicate better. Whatever you do, don't do the same back

I’ve worked with people like this and don’t really care. If anything, the gushing “Hope you’re well” brigade are more irritating.

I’d just accept it’s their personal style, and not take it personally.

That would be me, i would often have to go back and edit an email and add the fluffy bits so that people didnt complain. From my perspective though i just wanted to send the questions or information out and get a response quickly and move onto the next issue and to me the fluffy bits added no value to the information or questions...i miss the old days where no one gave a shit about the fluffy stuff and people werent so precious.

It is not fluffy to say "please." It is not precious to enjoy courtesy on the job. I'm as tough as nails in nearly every aspect of my professional life, but I treat people politely and expect to be treated politely in return.

I didnt say i wouldnt be polite, but the 'hi i hope you are doing well' that seems to be expected is fluffy and adds nothing imo

Who's said anything about "I hope you're doing well"?

You seem to have taken the desire for a less curt approach to an extreme. How many times do you need to say "fluffy"?!

It could just be the difference between "I need that report on my desk today" and "Please could you get that report to me today? Thanks Ronson."

I want clear information and fair expectations. A fluffy wrapper is completely unnecessary.

@Isittimeformynapyet one mans curt is another mans succint...would you rather i said 'words that add no value' rather than fluffy? Again, i prefer succint with a touch of disdain for the pointless you can term it however you wish.

Saying please and thank you is not remotely fluffy. It's manners.

I know a lot of people I deal with think me abrupt.

If I am it’s because I have to send many emails per day requesting action or information that just can’t wait.

If I had to couch it in language such as ‘if it’s not too much trouble would you be able to do x and y’ it would take double the time.

I always say ‘Hi’ and please and thank you so my emails are polite but very succinct.

So you are totally different to OPs manager who doesn't say hello, or please.

Get me the report due on Wednesday.

Hello Name, please get me the report due on Wednesday.

These sentences are a planet apart in tone.

Perfect 👍🏻