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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sick and tired.

2 replies

HopelesslyHopeful21 · 02/02/2026 15:15

Hi, I need some advice from you lovely lot. Five years ago we got a Bengal cat, then a year later we got another. I didn't really want them but bowed under pressure. Fast forward five years, my partner and adult child are both chronically ill now and both live in severe pain. Their lives (and mine) have changed drastically. They are no longer able to do anything and are basically housebound. I am a full time carer to both.
I've recently been diagnosed with a few health issues myself and I'm struggling to look after the cats. They are extremely high energy and need a lot of attention. Everything involving them now falls on my shoulders and I am struggling. I've mentioned to my partner quite a few times that I think it unfair on the cats that they can't have the attention they need and deserve.
I've asked my partner to help with the litter etc but he refuses and says he can't do it but on a good day, he can swing a golf club etc. He is mobile and is able to walk etc but I feel he is taking advantage of me. I feel my feelings are not taken into consideration. Am I being unreasonable to want to re-home the cats so they have a better life?? I love them to bits but want better for them. Please excuse the ramble, I'm shattered and not very good at putting things into words sometimes.

OP posts:
SoScarletItWas · 02/02/2026 15:18

I would rehome them in your situation. They are high energy and need loads of stimulation or they get destructive from boredom.

I don’t doubt that you love them but you’ve got more than enough to deal with.

They’ll be fine and possibly even happier somewhere that can deal with their madness.

Lilaclane · 02/02/2026 15:18

he can play golf but not look after the cats he wanted? cry me a fuckin river.

make him an ultimatum: the cats go or you do

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