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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you think these people liked you and your family?

30 replies

firstofallimadelight · 02/02/2026 07:15

Spent the afternoon with them, food was laid out couple of people helped themselves , I got some for dd then me. One person asked why I didn’t serve everyone and then got someone else to get my dh food. (Dh said no he’d get himself) They then asked would I serve everyone at my house I said I didn’t know probably (we were not at my home we were at her home) Everyone else served themselves or their kids and she never said a word to them.
later she made a comment about a health issue I have saying I need to “try harder” to get better. She has no idea how hard I work to improve my health issues yet she assumes I’m doing nothing/ not enough.
My son (who is disabled) was singing to himself (quietly and not near anyone/at the table) dn (who was running around) kept running up to adults say DS was singing they told him ‘he’s just being annoying’ and to ignore him.
This was all in the space of a couple hours I really don’t enjoy going and find it stressful but dh says they don’t mean anything. Aibu to find this stressful or should I just put up?

OP posts:
Soonenough · 02/02/2026 10:29

Good idea is to ask them to repeat themselves. What did you say ? Can you repeat that ? Saying it again can highlight how nasty they are.

TalkingShrub · 02/02/2026 10:31

firstofallimadelight · 02/02/2026 10:25

I agree I need to be prepared i usually go blank and don’t know what to say

Just say ‘Sorry, what did you say?’ completely neutrally, as if you simply didn’t hear. It’s a good starting point, and doesn’t ask too much of you, and crucially, it makes the other person think about what they said before they repeat it. Often they think the better of it. It’s a first step, anyway.

CantThinkofaNam · 02/02/2026 10:34

Your dh is pathetic. He’s ok with everyone having a fair game at calling your disabled child ‘annoying’? She doesn’t do this to anyone else because she knows your dh won’t stand up for you. Stand up for yourself op. I would stop going there if people treated me that way

raspberets · 02/02/2026 10:38

firstofallimadelight · 02/02/2026 10:25

I agree I need to be prepared i usually go blank and don’t know what to say

Don't let your DH undermine you by dismissing your very real experiences. Make a note of all the instances and present him with them.

Chickadee001 · 03/02/2026 06:31

Gosh they don't sound very nice so don't bother with them again - life's too short to waste it with people like that!😊

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