Am I very ugly?

[Simmoka]

I can’t recall a time when anyone ever complimented me on my looks. Not even my husband says I’m pretty or beautiful. I don’t mind if I’m average looking, but I wonder if I’m actually very ugly?
you know how when someone posts a photo of themselves on social media their girlfriends tend to compliment the photo and say they look gorgeous or stunning? That’s never happened to me, not that I post a lot and not that I’m fishing for compliments - it’s just something I’ve noticed. Even in my wedding day I don’t remember anyone complimenting me. When I was at school, a teacher joked that I looked like Dot Cotton from Eastenders. There’s nothing wrong with dot of course, but no 15 year old girl wants to be compared with an older, chain smoking soap character.
I dress nicely, am well groomed, am hygienic and my teeth are crooked but not dis coloured, they are clean. I know it shouldn’t matter, and that this all sounds very shallow, but I must be very ugly if not one person that I can think of has ever said anything positive about my appearance? My mum has never complimented me. My Dad, who is no longer with us, used to call me short arse (I’m 5’2”) but not in an unkind way. How does a person know if others find them very ugly? And why does it matter to me? But it does. I’m not putting a photo on here, but wondered if anyone else feels like this? And does it bother you? I wish it didn’t bother me, but it does .

You can't actually believe - or have believed at 15 - that a teenager could look like a 70-year-old?!

I honestly never met or seen anyone who is ugly, especially very ugly

most people are average

average, plain, boring looking, forgettable, plane Jane

badly groomed yes. A couple bad features yes

slighty below average yes. And even then it was bad grooming/styling. Overweight, Hair color/cut that doesn’t suit them etc. or one or two bad features like bad teeth or big nose but not overall ugly.

even then a lot of people’s personality makes it up for it.

I’m not saying this to make you feel better,

(maybe it’s just me) but I honestly never met anyone I would consider ugly

And imo if you really were “very ugly” you wouldn’t be asking on here or wondering, you’d know looking in the mirror

Is a big nose a bad feature?

You have a husband. He’s attracted to you, so I don’t understand how you’ve come to the conclusion that you’re ugly.

Sounds like you've had a lot of knocks to your confidence over the years. Could you tell your husband that you'd appreciate a compliment from time to time? Sorry you feel this way. I agree with others that very few people are ugly x

You have always been surrounded by people who value you for who you are and not what you look like. I can understand why it feels odd that you don’t remember ever being complimented on your looks but it is also unsettling wondering whether people (and I guess I really mean men here) actually like you and want to be your friend, or whether they just like your appearance.

It isn’t good for a girl to grow up being praised for her looks. Growing up, I used to wish that people would notice that I was clever/funny/kind anything really except pretty. And when I first started work in a patriarchal environment, my looks were definitely a double-edged sword. I knew I was good at my job but I also knew it was often not the prime reason I was in the room. Everyone in your life has always valued you for you.