Scared and anxious about car incident

[Zee1345]

So yesterday I was travelling down to my mums, a 2 hour 20 minute drive and it was my first time driving long distance on the motorway.I’ve been driving for a long time but my husband has always drove on long journeys so this incident has made it even worse that it happened now. I had my 3 young children in the car aged 10,8 and 2 years old. I was proud of myself because I’d done so well, was around 30 minutes from my mums on a bypass which has a speed of 60mph. There is a set of traffic lights where you can turn into a Tesco supermarket and then the bypass continues and speed is 60mph. I was behind this particular car for a good 10 minutes, I have since re looked at all the dash cam footage from my car and he was driving very fast round roundabouts etc and a car that was in front of me and behind him kept braking before going into the other lane and over taking this driver.

I pulled up behind this car as the light on the bypass was red, the lights changed, all the cars started to move off and on this bypass everyone pulls of quickly. This car pulled of quickly, all the other cars in front of him had gone, I’d also started moving, next thing I know he’s braked hard ( for no reason as all the other cars in front had gone and lights were on green) I tried to brake in time but I bumped into the back of him. He immediately pulled over to the side as did I. He had a dent in the back of his bumper and the front radiator grill of my car has half come off ( my car is worse) but I’ve had the car checked and it’s thankfully just cosmetic and won’t cost to much to repair.

I do have bad anxiety but I was calm with this older man, maybe late early to mid 60s. He was very cold, kept giving me intimating stares, we took pictures of each others cars and swapped phone numbers, at this point I was on the phone to my husband and my husband asked what had happened and I told him “ we’ve bumped into each other” this male started getting aggressive saying “ we didn’t bump into each other she hit into me”. We had exchanged numbers, details, took each others registrations and I told him I was leaving. At this point he told me “ you are not running away from this” ( if I was running away from this I would have surely drove off not stopped and exchanged my details and let him take pictures of my car???!) and he went on to tell me “ you are not leaving” my husband told me to get into my car and this man told me “ I’m calling the police your not running away from this” I burst into tears even though I knew I’d done everything I needed to and wasn’t wrong for wanting to leave, my oldest was crying in the car and the kids were in shock so I obviously needed to check my children were ok and get them to my mums to calm them down.

I could see him on his phone calling the police and this male came and stood next to my passenger window and was staring at me through the window trying to scare and intimidate me. I called the police who reassured me as I’d done everything I needed to I was allowed to leave and I also told them this male was scaring me and being aggressive and telling me I’m not leaving or running away from this.

this male kept texting me on my number and I sent one message saying I’m on the phone to the police who have told me I am allowed to leave as I’ve done what I needed to and he was scaring me and my children and acting inappropriately. He then sent me another text message saying “ your not leaving” I then blocked his number and drove off scared he would start following me, he didn’t luckily and I made it to my mums.

this whole Incident has really shaken me up, I’m scared what is going to happen next. I’ve never been in an accident and from what I’ve read even though I have dash cam footage and he braked for no reason it will be my fault. I just am so anxious and scared and can’t believe this has happened and how he treated me and was trying to intimidate me!

Hope you’re ok OP, I can imagine it’s really shaken you up.
Regardless of who was actually at fault there’s no reason at all for a man to try and intimidate you like that, especially when you’ve got young children with you. Would he have acted the same if you were a big hard-looking bloke? I suspect not.

Yes you’re always meant to leave a safe stopping distance but from what you’ve said about his driving leading up to the event it does sound a bit odd.
In future if you notice someone driving erratic the best thing you can do is give them a very wide berth and hang back as much as possible.

You don’t know if was for no reason though, if he needed to slam his breaks on you should just always have enough of a gap to stop, and if you go into the back of someone it’s virtually always the case that you’re at fault.

Even with these idiots who are doing it intentionally, if you’ve got a proper gap you won’t hit them.

But that doesn't always mean it's Ops fault despite what some on here would have you think. It may be, it may not. It's impossible to determine without seeing the dash cam footage, the behaviour of the drivers leading up to the incident, and the witness statements from both parties.

Sounds like one of those crash scams, where they deliberately brake in front of you, he will probably claim for whiplash and other stuff like that.

You must have hit him pretty hard to make a dent and for your bumper to fall off. You will almost certainly be at fault but in future, don't be so intimidated. All you need is their numberplate. If they were hostile, I'd just get that and a few pics if I could and then I'd leave.

I've had numerous people hit my cars over the years- all men. One started to tell me how we were going to do it 'off insurance'. I said no and he didn't like it. Another told me there was no damage so no need to tell anyone. Again, I told him I would be telling my insurers immediately. You just have to stand up for yourself.

Fucking arrogant men. I hate them.

Sorry but you are wrong, what if a child had run out in front of him. She will be held at fault. But that's not the end of the world, just a more expensive insurance premium next year. I worked in motor claims in another life.

The guy was probably also upset and didn't handle things well. The police will tell him you have done nothing wrong as you exchanged details and no one was injured

It is her fault. As the car was in front of her and she hit the rear. It doesn't matter why he stopped....a child in the road, dropping a cigarette in his lap, a fox, a big pot hole.... whatever (and those are all things I've dealt with as a claims handler). She should have been far enough away to have stopped....that's why breaking distances are hammered home in the highway code. She wasn't so she's to blame. End of. Fact.

Sorry but I’m not wrong, I specifically said IF he slammed on for no reason and dash cam shows that it may be defended as a crash for cash/induced collusion. This is 100% true.

IF a child ran out on the dash cam and he had reason to stop, obviously it will be different.

Not if he deliberately induced an accident - then his claim would be dismissed for dishonesty if this was proven

Sounds like he was wanting someone to crash into the back of him if he was forcing the car the infront of you and behind him to break several times on the dual carriage way. I would give the insurance all the footage as it seems he was driving irratically.

You didn’t bump into each other though, did you? You didn’t leave sufficient enough behind him. It’s up to you to keep the correct distance behind so that if someone brakes suddenly, you don’t hit them.

You probably wound him up a bit with your “we bumped into each other comment”. The reality was, you went into the back of him.

Thats no excuse for his aggression but I think you’ve got to take some responsibility here.

Did not give him the right to be a cock. Exchange details then leave. End of!

But the dashcam may not capture whe ge slammed on, he might have seen something in hid peripheral vision 🤔

He was a twat and I’m sorry it was such a scary experience. It does sound like the accident was your fault, leave a bigger gap in future, but hand everything over to the insurers including the footage of his sketchy driving prior to the accident and let them deal with it- it’s what they’re there for. And don’t beat yourself up about it, it’s called an accident for a reason.

*his

It's a crash for crash, or a kind of car insurance fraud very likely.
It's so good you have the footage of this. The insurance company will see you are at no fault.
The intimidation sorta fits in with the criminal behaviour. Really nasty stuff, to be intimidating you like that. It's upsetting, but keep driving, please don't allow this scumbag any further consideration. 😉

Accidents happen, most drivers have been involved in some sort of bump in the course of their driving lives. You took responsibility which is the main thing and it sounds like you just used the wrong language to describe what had happened on the phone to your husband which then wound the man up. To then kick off in aux an aggressive way, particularly when there were young children in the car, is horrible and in no way appropriate for the situation.

I’m not sure what the situation insurance wise and whether you can forward them the dash-cam footage in some way perhaps?

Yep, possibly! Hence why I said if.

He's an idiot, you don't feel whiplash immediately, takes at least a few hours to show up

To be fair is someone crashed into me then started having a phone call with their partner and saying ‘we bumped into each other’ insinuating that I was at fault then I’d be annoyed too.

Yeah he was rude but I don’t even see why OP was calling her partner when all she needed to do was exchange details and drive on.

Sorry this happened, OP. The man was a total prick and I'm not surprised you are feeling so distressed. It is so, so upsetting to be in an accident at the best of times. When I was in an accident a couple of years ago, I was almost insane with anxiety and upset, even though no-one was hurt and it wasn't my fault. I felt judged, out of my mind with worry.

I think the only solution (and it is easier said than done, I know) is just to hand it all over to your insurance company and put it out of your mind.

If you are like me, you will very much want to be judged NOT at fault, just to protect yourself from all the horrible self-tormenting thoughts that the incident has caused you. But really and truly it doesn't matter if you are found to be technically at fault (just in virtue of being the car behind). No one will actually be judging you. It will just be an automatic finding based on imperfect info. Your premium will take a bit of a hit but that's not the end of the world.

One possibility is that the guy was scamming by deliberately causing an accident in order to make a claim. Years and years ago, I went into the back of some lads' car when they stopped very suddenly at a roundabout. They were stroppy with me and I was so distressed that I called the police to report the accident. The copper I spoke to said it sounded like an insurance scam. I was nonetheless found by the insurance companies to be at fault, simply because I was the car behind. I'm sure that upset me a lot at the time, but looking back on it 20 years later I can truly say It doesn't matter. No one was hurt. That is the only important thing. x