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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Who should be responsible for putting my son back in bed?

29 replies

Rexers · 01/02/2026 20:10

Dh often works very late. We have a 7 month and 2.5 year old. We both agreed that we would do our best to keep the boys out the bedroom (7 month is with us and wil be for a few more months as I ebf).

I have to admit I have gone back on my word. I have started bringing in the 2.5 yo into my bed as he has got into a very bad habit of waking up. He gets himself so upset that I worry he’ll wake the baby. So I just bring him in to bed. I enjoy the snuggles and I have to say I felt guilty that he was alone whilst ds2, dh and I were all together.

Dh does get annoyed. He thinks it’s making things harder for ds1. But also it means we are not having much of an intimate life. As we definitely most intimate at night when he gets home (both our preferences).

I am a SAHM for now and I really need the routine of being up and out of the house early with the kids and dogs for a walk. Works well as it gives dh time to sleep in.

The only thing is we don’t agree on who should take ds1 back to his bedroom. Dh has a sore shoulder (surgery) so finds it uncomfortable . Whilst I think it’s DH’s preference to not co sleep so the onus should be on him. im quite happy with our current arrangement.

I know it’s petty. But who do you think?

I really struggle to fall back asleep if o get up and move around too much.

OP posts:
Unexpectedlysinglemum · 01/02/2026 23:11

Abd80 · 01/02/2026 20:32

They’re only 2 years old. Just let them sleep with you ? Why should they as a two year old toddler want to sleep all alone when the two adults and baby in the house all sleep with the comfort of another human ?!
get a bigger bed if you need. Or bring their toddler bed into your room. Make things as easy as possible for yourself at night. You have two under two and you’re breastfeeding so doing all the baby wakes, it’s tiring enough already. Keep them close while they need you. They won’t need you this intensely forever.
if you and husband want intimacy then you can easily sneak out to spare room or the living room when all babies are asleep.

This one nails it

Hoardasurass · 01/02/2026 23:13

Rexers · 01/02/2026 20:27

injury which was operated on 4 months ago

You he's still recovering from surgery and you've unilaterally changed the agreement about co sleeping which btw is making a rod for your own back especially as the little one will soon expect the same of he sees his sibling doing it

BlushingBrightly · 01/02/2026 23:25

Starseeking · 01/02/2026 20:50

I agree with this.

Plus your DH has just had surgery; do you want him to damage it lifting a 2 year old up and down?!?

Really? He had surgery 4 months ago. How much is it affecting any of his other activities? Or his ability to work 'very late'? Or his interest in 'intimacy'? No,thought not. This comes across as an excuse to want the woman to deal with the small child as the big man needs his sleep. Take turns. Or pretend you're asleep and see how much he really wants the toddler moved.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 01/02/2026 23:48

Why doesn’t your DH go and sleep in another room, so then you can have toddler in with you as much as necessary?

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