To not want a stranger to accompany my friend when visiting my house?

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Going through a very tough time (divorce, bereavment, post partum MH issues) and me and a friend have arranged an overdue catch up. She's coming over to my house and will be traveling from another city. I received a message from her asking if it's okay if she brings a friend (someone I don't know) who has an errand to run in the city I'm in.

Under normal circumstances I wouldn't hesitate to welcome them both. The reality is however is that I'm feeling really fragile. I'm also in my house with young children (one of whom has SEN), and I'm now just super anxious about the visit.

Would it be unkind to say no? Or to suggest we rearrange?

It's not unkind - it's fine to say no or suggest rearranging. I would be honest - say something like "I'm a stressed at the moment as you know and I can't face small talk with a stranger, sorry"

Just say to her what you’ve put in your OP. She’ll understand.
I hope things improve for you, sounds like you’re having a rough time.

Going through a very tough time (divorce, bereavment, post partum MH issues)

Your friend shouldn’t even ask under these circumstances.

Is she reliant on the other friend (the one you don’t know) for a lift?

You should absolutely say no “under normal circumstances it’d be totally fine but with everything going on in my life, I’m not up to putting on a front in my own home with a stranger. I’m looking forward to catching up with you though.”

She's not very self aware is she?

Given the circumstances I’d hope your friend would understand this isn’t a great time if you just tell her you’re not up for an extra visitor.

Yeah to me that's a bit rude. I mean it's cool if she was giving her mate a lift into town, but she should've just dropped her in town then gone to yours. Then either pick mate from town later or she makes her own way home. Not invited her to your house!

Just say 'I'd really rather just see you. House is chaotic etc so maybe best to rearrange when you're on your own?'

I agree completely with this. I couldn't handle having to deal with someone I don't know in the circumstances.

You need to be kind to yourself, you need support from your friend and a stranger's presence would mean you can't talk openly to her.

Why would the friend need to come to the house anyway, surely they can you thier errand while your friend is with you?

It’s just a bit of an odd pitch - I can’t imagine the friend particularly wants to come to a stranger’s house and hang out with their young children around. Just tell your friend you aren’t feeling up to hosting a stranger and don’t want to talk about personal things in front of anyone you don’t know, so would prefer to reschedule.

YANBU
It’s just not the done thing.

I wouldn’t dream of asking a friend if a stranger could also come over.

Perhaps it's a cultural thing I'm not sure? Neither of us are English (although the third woman is) and as I said, I wouldn't even need to be asked under normal circumstances.

Will try my best to suggest an alternative.

Thanks for the responses.

Absolutely this. Though you might want to modify it and add “… either on (date) or another time “.

I’m frankly astonished that your friend even considered it appropriate to ask.

People are clueless.

DH once was very unwell and had a very long stay in hospital. His friend was going on holiday and wanted to pop in on the way past.
Except he wanted to bring his wife, 3 children, 2 dogs and his in laws!
DH had only been out of hospital for a day, was very drugged up (he would fall asleep randomly). He’d never even met his friends in-laws (they live abroad).
I offered to pick him up from somewhere nearby if everyone else wanted to go for a walk/lunch. His friend was really offended. I had to tell him it wasn’t okay to bring the dogs as we have 3 cats and he didn’t see the problem with that either.

I’m sorry you’re going through a lot at the moment. Have you offloaded about all of your issues to your friend a lot? Do you reciprocate and ask about what’s going on in her life?

Is it a possibility that your friend has asked her other friend to tag along in a human shield capacity so you can’t offload? Do you think that’s feasible - what’s the dynamic like between you and your friend?

Your friend is being very insensitive and clueless.

Just say that you are feeling a bit fragile and not up to making good small talk with someone you don't know but hopefully you can meet your friend another time soon.

This actually occurred to me. That she bought a friend to prevent from offloading. But I actually think she's just trying to be genuinely helpful, and is an incredibly kind and selfless sort of person.