Photo of headstone

[NeicaB]

I have just noticed on Facebook that an extended family member has posted a photo of my parents and paternal grandparents grave and headstone as a Facebook story. This person is related through marriage on my mother’s side but was not particularly close to her when she was alive and as far as I am aware did not know my grandparents. No close family live near the cemetery and I am aware that she sometimes tidies the grave which I appreciate but found it quite disconcerting to unexpectedly see a photo of my parents’ grave on a Facebook post and don’t know if I am justified in feeling this is not something that should be shared casually.

There are whole websites out there that catalogue photos of headstones from cemeteries across the country for use in genealogy research. Dont think they have asked permission to do this.

I understand. But surely this is about your feelings towards the extended family member? Headstones, plaques etc are public monuments and notices, that’s the point of them. You can’t control photographs of them.

Agree. And they are tidying the grave. Why shouldn’t they post a picture of a (presumably nicely tidied) headstone.

I think it's very odd to post pictures of a headstone on Facebook, especially as you would have thought about other family members reactions to seeing it. I wouldn't like it if someone else in my family posted a picture of my parent's headstone. Did they write anything on the post or was it just a picture?

I think it's odder that my youngest sibling has a photo edited to look like she was stood next to my dad in a photo in a place they'd never been together.

It was in their Facebook stories, I understand as previous posts have mentioned that graves are not private and can be photographed by anyone but was surprised that they had chosen my parents’ grave and not one with which they have a more personal connection

It's not the same. The OP is not upset that she saw a photo of a headstone in her news feed, it's that it was her close family's. The person who posted this should have thought about who might see it and how they would feel before putting it on their stories. I think it's selfish and narcissistic of them.

OP, I hope you are OK. Sorry for your losses.

I appreciate it feels strange to you did them to do but perhaps they feel closer to them that you have taken in account. It is kind of them to take the time to tidy the grave as it sounds like it would just be deteriorating year after year otherwise.