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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should I just pay

55 replies

Wilst23 · 31/01/2026 19:00

What would you do?

My SILs car was hit by a neighbour who has since passed away (unrelated). They had agreed to pay the costs forgoing insurance company at around £600 for the repair. He passed the following week.

Given this was immediately before Christmas, we felt it best not to push for this.

I'm now being asked to enquire with the neighbours adult child who has since moved in, as to when this would likely be paid back.

I'm fairly uncomfortable doing this and am tempted just to pay myself to avoid the awkwardness. I also feel its probably too late to enquire through the insurance. I can afford the hit more than my SIL can but he reminds me that this wouldn't really be an issue if it wasn't a neighbour.

Not sure what the best course of action would be..is it unreasonable to ask?

OP posts:
Sadworld23 · 02/02/2026 11:31

Hrft
You could pay for a quiet life but doubt anyone will thank you for it.
Be prepared.

Gossipisgood · 02/02/2026 13:22

It's not really your problem so I'd ask your SIL to maybe write your neighbours a letter letting them know the repairs need completing before xx date as the car is being traded in or whatever & could they possibly give a time when they can pay the outstanding money agreed to be paid. Say if they want to now go through insurance companies can they please give their details so you can start the process. Ask your SIL to make the letter as gentle as possible saying they appreciate it's a difficult time but unfortunately there's a deadline for the repairs to be sorted.

amber763 · 02/02/2026 13:26

He just needs to.go through his insurance.

caringcarer · 02/02/2026 14:16

MotherofPufflings · 31/01/2026 19:19

Presumably it was your SIL's choice not to go through the insurance, so she needs to take responsibility for this IMO

This. Tell SiL to sort it herself. Nothing to do with you.

mdinbc · 02/02/2026 20:27

I think both Gossipisgood and Goldmerchant gave good advice.

Any claim on a person's estate would be null once the estate is settled, so make sure you look after this sooner rather than later.

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