To worry about my friends kids

[Ontobetterthings]

She has a mummy account on social media and hundreds of people following her that she does not know. She puts pictures on daily of the kids and the husband says they hate it. I know its none of my business but I worry about who's looking at these pictures. Ive tried dropping hints about it could be anyone like pedos looking at her kids pics.

To be fair there are many, many children on social media. I personally wouldn't post my own DC but I wouldn't judge anyone who did. Schools and children's clubs post children, there are child models and actors. Pedophiles don't need to go far to find pictures of children.

I think it's less about 'pedos' looking at thier pics and more to do with violating thier privacy.

How old are they?

They are between age between 7- 11. 4 of them. I think it bothers me so much cos her husband says they hate it and she's always posting them daily. I do worry about who's following this account too. I feel they have no privacy at all.

Entirely disagree with this and I absolutely disagree with children having their lives shared online without their consent, especially when they have actively said they dislike it.

I think its a bit strange that this is playing on your mind, this is between your friend and her husband.

I'm relatively chilled about images on social media within reason, family snaps at the beech etc. Maybe because my mum was a frequent photo taker when I was a child, and while there was no social media, I think everyone in the neighbourhood was subject to the family album 😀

If the children don't want them posting they shouldn't be there but I don't think anything you say will stop her if knowing her own children hate it doesn't make her stop.

She’s violating her kids right to privacy for her own self gratification. Posting pics daily is quite frankly ridiculous. She’s going to destroy her relationship with her children if she doesn’t stop.

I'm with you OP, I hate how normalised this has become.

I question the sanity of anyone who does this today, knowing what we know now about social media and children's mental health.

For me it's nothing to do with "pedos": it's to do with the broader issue of social media addiction and using your children as constant props. And the violation of their privacy.

Well she’s opening up her kids‘ lives to a potential world of shit later on (ID theft, porn AI image creation, school kids in high school sharing AI doctored photos, employer issues…) let alone now with regards to online photo sharing. She’s being stupid frankly. But not much you can do.

This is very different though. With a "Mummy Blogger" the creep can have a parasocial relationship with the child and feel like they know them. They know (or can generally easily find out) where these children live and go to school and spend their weekends. Of course, they don't necessarily do anything with this information but it plays into their fantasies and further errodes the child's boundaries.

The family album example is also very different. Showing a visitor since embarrassing photos is one thing but giving away copies to random people in the street!?!

Why's her husband confiding in you

Is it them or him that hates it??

I think your right to worry especially if the family hate it but there's nothing you can do

Why are you and her husband discussing this? Assuming he has full parental rights, it’s up to him to step in and do something rather than winding you up about it. Sitting by passively is just as complicit so don’t put the blame solely on the mum here.

You need to mind your own business and not stir up gossip under the guise of concern. Statistically, 1 in 5 children are sexually abused by people they know in real life. So out of any 5 of your other friends (not on social media), one person you know is abusing their kids or allowing them to be abused by someone in their life. If you are genuinely concerned for other children's wellbeing, you have loads of other people in your life than just one wannabe blogger.

Even though posting children on social media is quite unsavoury, the statistics of one of those kids becoming the victim of CSA from a stranger who has only seen them on social media is very, very low. This entire thing sounds more like you just loving the idea of stirring up drama by trying to goad the husband of a friend to take your side. And of course, making fun of a friend who is putting her life online for people to see.

I went to a talk by the local police force cyber crime lead recently - you’d never post your children on any form of social media again if you knew the lengths people go to, and any photo can be used for nefarious purposes. Keep your poor kids away from this.