Ex and 34 pounds, AIBU

[Yuanpp]

Ex is usually decent with money. To be honest it’s the least he can do given he sees dd for a few hours on a Saturday and Sunday and that’s if he’s not working at a weekend in which case it’s every couple of weeks. His choice, I’ve offered whatever he wants.

Ex earns 95k. He also gets overtime, which varies so isn’t taken into account for cms.

All last year he paid a set amount which was slightly more than cms calculated. In Jan they did the new calculation and it was 34 pounds less. So he’s still overpaying slightly overall but is now paying 34 quid less than every month last year.

I think this is an incredibly dickish move and I’ve told him this. Yes I know technically he’s doesn’t have to pay more blah blah blah but fucking hell I’m doing EVERYTHING for DD all week every week and every night of her life. I feel like it was petty and unkind to knock off 34 quid. I told him i don’t get the luxury of suddenly reducing what I spend on DD as I just have to spend it. I said he was being a disgrace.

I am really upset just about how frustrated I feel really at the injustice I have enough money, it’s not about that, it’s about how I feel at the hands of his decisions when I just have to plough on and don’t get to do the same…I couldn’t decide to spend slightly less this month

im so surprised how much it’s hurt me. I need to toughen up a bit I think!!

I misread the op, thinking it was per week rather than per month

So how much extra is he paying over cms amount?

I get it OP. XH had his annual assessment in November so as of this month is paying ~£1.20 less a month. I don't get it, if anything his salary has gone up (Civil Service). He doesn't generally pay for extra unless you count activities/lunch etc on his time. I don't need the £1.20 but its a shocking reflection of this country that csm is set as it is.

He’s on £95K+ and reduced payment by £34 a month? Honestly he’s a complete dick.

I can never get over how many men get away with not paying for or supporting their kids enough.

So he pays over what cms say - which is around £816 a month on £95k

but you are annoyed he’s paying £34 less even tho he Pays more than legally had to

Dads that walk away are just sickening anyway. You’re right @Yuanpp it’s just shit they they get to have their lives and jobs and just carry on. My dd is a single mum so I get it- and having also been one I get it too. But I can tell you that you’re the winner here, not him. You have the prize which is your lovely child that he doesn’t really know, doesn’t get to share his life with and that’s his loss and worth far more than £34 a month. But it’s bloody hard and the daily grind all on you is a lot. So I hope you know you’re doing an amazing job and your daughter will see him for what he is in years to come.