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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Unprofessional work coach or normal?

9 replies

toolatenowww · 30/01/2026 15:49

DD18 recently finished her apprenticeship in childcare, which she did at the local playgroup. She spent almost 2 years there and there was a possibility of a permanent position after finishing her qualification, but it was never a sure thing. Unfortunately, they had a full team, so she had to move on. She’s been on the hunt for different jobs (mostly in childcare since she wants to stay in that field) but has also applied for care and cleaning positions.

We live in a small village where the transport options aren’t great. I help out when I can and give her lifts, but I also work full time. She takes the bus quite a bit. DD is planning to start driving lessons soon, but of course, she needs some money for that. I’ll pitch in wherever I can. She’s really eager to work and is actively job hunting. The downside is that many of the jobs require a driving licence (even some care jobs since they’re community based).

Recently, she applied for JSA and has had a few meetings with her work coach. I’m not sure how old he is, but she mentioned he’s pretty young. She had a meeting scheduled last week, but it got canceled because they were short staffed. When it was rescheduled and she went in, he casually said, “oh yeah, I called in sick, hungover I was.” DD also applied for a nursery position (I think she stands a good chance of getting it), and when she mentioned it to her work coach, he replied, “ahh, well, a lot of people have applied for that job so don’t get your hopes up.” Not exactly the most encouraging or helpful response, right?

Is this considered unprofessional? Especially the hungover comment? I feel like he hasn’t really offered much support, but I’m not sure if that’s part of his job? I think it’s knocked her confidence a bit.

OP posts:
toolatenowww · 30/01/2026 18:21

Anyone haha 🤣

OP posts:
SlothSpiritAnimal · 30/01/2026 18:30

He sounds inexperienced, and, if a similar age (or not that far apart from your DD), trying to relate to her on a ‘mates’ level.
how does she feel about him? If she finds him a bit unhelpful, then I think she’s within her rights to raise it and say she’d like a coach with more experience.
i think it’s a bit up to her though. Maybe you could help her with how to get more from him, so if he says things like ‘don’t get your hopes up’ perhaps she could respond with ‘That’s interesting, why would you advise that - what would your approach be to standing out from other candidates?’
If he’s unhelpful, she could absolutely ask for someone else.

chunkyBoo · 30/01/2026 18:32

Totally unacceptable behaviour

SlothSpiritAnimal · 30/01/2026 18:38

To add - to try to find a role she could register with agencies, or apply directly to schools / nurseries with a CV reinforcing her Apprenticeship experience and ask to be kept on file if they’re not currently recruiting.
a ‘test’ for the work coach might be to help her review her CV and if he can’t offer anything constructive then bin him off!

Wallaroo21 · 30/01/2026 18:51

Slightly off topic but has she considered nannying? A great career to break into with potential long-term for decent salary and perks.

Alwaysontherun · 30/01/2026 18:58

The called in sick/hungover comment was very unprofessional and he could definitely have worded it better when commenting on the nursery job she has applied for.

I would give him another chance but if the next meeting was no better I would be requesting someone else

Netcurtainnelly · 30/01/2026 19:01

toolatenowww · 30/01/2026 15:49

DD18 recently finished her apprenticeship in childcare, which she did at the local playgroup. She spent almost 2 years there and there was a possibility of a permanent position after finishing her qualification, but it was never a sure thing. Unfortunately, they had a full team, so she had to move on. She’s been on the hunt for different jobs (mostly in childcare since she wants to stay in that field) but has also applied for care and cleaning positions.

We live in a small village where the transport options aren’t great. I help out when I can and give her lifts, but I also work full time. She takes the bus quite a bit. DD is planning to start driving lessons soon, but of course, she needs some money for that. I’ll pitch in wherever I can. She’s really eager to work and is actively job hunting. The downside is that many of the jobs require a driving licence (even some care jobs since they’re community based).

Recently, she applied for JSA and has had a few meetings with her work coach. I’m not sure how old he is, but she mentioned he’s pretty young. She had a meeting scheduled last week, but it got canceled because they were short staffed. When it was rescheduled and she went in, he casually said, “oh yeah, I called in sick, hungover I was.” DD also applied for a nursery position (I think she stands a good chance of getting it), and when she mentioned it to her work coach, he replied, “ahh, well, a lot of people have applied for that job so don’t get your hopes up.” Not exactly the most encouraging or helpful response, right?

Is this considered unprofessional? Especially the hungover comment? I feel like he hasn’t really offered much support, but I’m not sure if that’s part of his job? I think it’s knocked her confidence a bit.

Most of them are horrible, tactless, old bags. You won't be the first or last one to experience this.
Feel pity for them, that they have such a crap job.

RaininSummer · 30/01/2026 20:41

The hungover comment was very out of line. I wonder if he thought he sounded cool to her or something if he is young himself. If his line manager heard that he would have have been in a pickle. The other comment was a bit negative but maybe he was warning her not to pin everything on the application.

RaininSummer · 30/01/2026 20:42

Btw I don't think I'm a horrible, tactless, old bag and I like my job most days and actually do my best to help my customers.

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