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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Wwud

1 reply

Fcs1985 · 30/01/2026 12:12

My daughter, 10 has autism and ADHD all traits seen at home and school. Waiting for assessment. Has been bullied by another kid in school since September. I've been in multiple times with no resolve. So I've now told her if she hits you, stand up for yourself hit her back. So the mum's gone to school and complained because I've told my kid to stand up for herself and she heard me. The head is fully aware where I stand in this and is trying to push blame onto my child. She needs routine but there has been supply's in the last 2 week to help with sats. This supply doesn't listen. He has shouted at my daughter for trying to stick to the "agreement" that the head put in place to separate them. But he's paired them in pe, made them sit together in class and made my daughter go to the back when she's been told to go to the front. She's tried to explain with no avail he just ignored her have her a c1 for answering back. Then the head told her off for not sticking to the "agreement" and just walked of didn't wait for a response and blatantly lied to my face saying that didn't happen. My younger daughter has an absolutely amazing teacher and I don't want to take her out as she's only just got settled. I'm at the point I'm ready to pull her out she went in absolutely crying her eyes out sat in a corner rocking. But she has sats soon and she's already struggling. I'm at my wits end, was stood outside school crying myself with it today. Please help me or advise me.

OP posts:
C152 · 30/01/2026 12:56

Sympathies, OP; it's really hard having a school that behaves like this. If you have a better option, I'd pull your older daughter out and move her. In the meantime, write an email to the school outlining the issue with the cover teacher. Make it factual rather than emotional. Ask the school what their process will be for making sure all staff in future know of the arrangement set up by the Head.

On the bullying, have the school addressed the bullying complaints? Did they actually acknowledge it was bullying and that's why the Head suggested keeping the girls separate in all activities? If they haven't address it satisfactorily, or the bullying continues, complain in writing, following whatever the school's process is; and keep complaining until you exhaust the internal options, then write to your Local Authority.

https://www.gov.uk/bullying-at-school/reporting-bullying

Is the assessment you're waiting for part of the assessment for an EHCP? If not, and there are additional needs that are not currently being met by the school, I would request and EHC assessment yourself.

https://www.ipsea.org.uk/asking-for-an-ehc-needs-assessment

Bullying at school

Bullying at school and the law - what your school and the police must do about bullying and how you should report it

https://www.gov.uk/bullying-at-school/reporting-bullying

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