@NeverSeenThatColourBlue
Because she has next to no additional costs for her disability. I know why she got DLA to begin with. She had to go private for her diagnosis and treatment and it cost a fortune. I filled out the forms. At 10, prior to being medicated, she was quite expensive, she broke and lost things regularly, she had to be practically man-handled into the bath, she was on a constant mission to get sugar hits and if there was anything sweet in the house she would hunt it down but take about 2 hours to eat a meal. Absolutely lovely kid but she required constant supervision + the costs of treatment. I was still shocked to be told that she was entitled to £350 a month, that was way over the cost of the additional expenses.
You've said she was quite expensive, and then that you don't see how she can need £350 a month?
The iPhone is a good example. It doesn't matter if it was due for replacement. It matters if she lost it because she was careless or she was disabled. Because we have all been careless and lost something, it's tempting to dismiss it as a one off and to equate it to 'normal' carelessness. But it ISN'T. And it happens much more often. ADHD seems to be dismissed as an annoying or fun quirkiness, but the actual statistics are HORRIBLE - for things like suidice, bankruptcy, addition, criminality - studies suggest that up to 80 percent of prisoners may have ADHD or related problems. If they were diagnosed and medicated and the crime rate plummeted, wouldn't we all be better off?
My ADHD has cost me hundred of thousands of pounds. Literally, in financial losses from poor decisions or 'carelessness'. In extra insurances, fuck ups, delays, or things mislaid and I've forgotten I've done. I don't know what a 'normal' error rate is, and of course no life is without some mistakes. But they aren't ALL due to it.
She will have been shamed for her problems. That's hell to grow up with, and you soon learn to hide it. DLA validates her, which is priceless and why she is wearing it so proudly - it's really bloody hard to get, but also is likely paying for a lot of stuff she's already learnt to hide. It takes pressure off - you don't have to keep panicking and checking and re-checking and obsessing over details if you know have some wiggle room. I feel for her - and for you, because its no parenting picnic, either.