To find this male colleague's behaviour creepy?

[SunshineOnARainyLeith]

A guy at work has been offering me lifts, and I am getting uncomfortable getting into a car with him. Last week, he worked later than normal and tried to get me to come to his office on a pretext at 4.55, saying he would give me a lift afterwards. A few weeks ago, he also asked me to go for a coffee (which i politely declined).

He seemed to be checking my normal route and times to work, in order to give me a lift.

This is a really small organisation so very difficult to avoid him. I am changing my route into work so our paths won't cross (I normally walk part of the way which i enjoy).

I have once or twice wondered if he has a drink problem ... he reeked of pickled garlic which my ex-husband (who was an alcoholic) ate to disguise the smell of alcohol.

Nothing very concrete but my gut tells me this is off. I have no problem with lifts from any other colleagues, male or female.

Would be good to have some outside opinions for moral support!

Just say no thanks, I have plans straight from work etc..

No one can really know if he is being creepy without seeing your interactions and some of what you are saying sounds like speculation. But if he makes you uncomfortable then just say no to the lifts and tell him you prefer to walk. If he refuses to back off, then yes, that is creepy behaviour and may be worth escalating with HR.

Trust your gut and just say no thanks, polite and cheery.

Most importantly, don't justify yourself. If you give reasons you are giving something he can knock down.

"No thanks, I'm fine"
"No really, I'm fine."

Repeat. He will get the message.

If he does down the "why" route just keep it plain and bland.

"I'm fine thanks. No, I don't want to."

You are not obliged to explain.

Literally was about to write the same thing, never feel
obliged, always trust your gut instincts.

Refuse the lifts and if he continues tell him you don’t want to hear about lifts again.

Maybe he just likes pickles garlic - I know I do (and I’m not an alcoholic!)

"No thanks, I like walking - got to fit some exercise in somewhere!". Repeat, be unapologetic.

Go with your gut......it's usually right!

Tell him you want to hit your steps target and don’t need or want any lifts. Don’t feel bad.

Forget talking nonsense about steps targets. Just say no.

The gift of fear.

Thanks, i reckon you're right. Any time i have had this gut instinct before, it's been right.

It’s a book by Gavin de Becker and worth a read.

You need to report this. It will either stop it or be a record for when he escalates, as men like this will always escalate, unchecked.

Do not be alone with him. Reporting it will also help to ensure this doesn’t occur.

The barging thing can be a ‘thing’ by the way. Red Pill communities online.

Get a male friend to meet you for lunch or pick you up from work say once a week and make it prominently visible. A bit crass perhaps, but he needs to see the counterpoint of male energy. Don’t tell him you are waking - trust your spidey sense.

Just “no thanks” - add nothing else. If you give a reason, you’re engaging and really, you don’t need to give a reason anyway.