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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If I can't say anything nice.. do ai just say nothing forever

3 replies

Rainmaker123 · 29/01/2026 20:41

I know I am unreasonable to be honest but I am becoming increasingly more bitter every time I speak to my sister.

My sister continuously makes poor decisions that means she always makes her life ridiculously hard.

She didn't tell anyone she was pregnant the first time when she was 18 until 2 weeks before she gave birth (she was away at university and came back with a huge bump). She did to all her credit finish her degree with family help.

She then had numerous relationships and had started to settle down. She often relied on family to help with children and money.

She had just told me she is pregnant again. This is 4th baby now. She lives in a tiny flat. She also said she is breaking up with this baby and youngest dad as she will be better off financially without him as the benefit cap is being lifted and he is not wanting another child.

She then went on to say she was going to be getting what I consider a large sum each month working 16 hours per week.
I have always been the 'sensible' one and I just get really irrationally pissed off when she calls me.

I just want to say don't ask me for help with money, childcare or anything because you keep making decisions that make life harder and then expect everyone else to constantly support her with these decisions.

OP posts:
WeAreNotOk · 29/01/2026 23:11

Hi OP. Sounds like she's gaming the system a bit. You don't have to help if you don't want to and don't feel guilty. We all make our choices.

BigKissByeBye · 29/01/2026 23:17

It's your choice to engage with her, OP. No one is holding you at gunpoint.

ForPinkDuck · 29/01/2026 23:25

Id just have low contact with her that way there is less chance of conflict.

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