Social anxiety

[inthecornersofmymind]

My husband struggles with social anxiety, yet he just won't admit it.

Throughout our relationship, I have consistently been supportive. I think he could have addressed this issue years ago, as help and support are available to overcome it.

Today, I don't feel my best in terms of health. I need a few items from the supermarket, but I hesitate to ask him to go because it's lunchtime and the stores are crowded at this hour.

I want him to seek help to manage his social anxiety, and I will happily support him throughout the process.

How can I approach this conversation with him so that he doesn't shut me down?

I feel that it would be unreasonable of me, because I know it will most likely frustrate him and bring down his mood.

For today, could you do a click and collect order so his time at the shop is minimal?

I think it’s easy to say you can fix someone from the outside - perhaps you can, perhaps you can’t. If he isn’t open to helping himself and has made that clear then I think YWBU to keep on at it over potentially many years.

I think any conversation has the issue of you wanting to “fix” his mental health, which is potentially going to be a bit of a red flag to him. As someone with anxiety I had to seek help myself - I wouldn’t have taken kindly to my husband tell me that with help and support I could overcome it, to me I would find that quite patronising.

Had he ever hinted that he wants to change, or is he happy as he is? He might just be one of those people who doesn’t like social situations or crowds.

So his social anxiety is sufficiently bad he can't deal with busy shops? That's quite debilitating if so.

It sounds like he needs professional help with it if its limiting his ability to perform basic day to day tasks. Does he work? Surely that must involve some social contact?

Why is he "shutting you down"? You need to be able to communicate about these things.

It sounds to me as if he is using this as an excuse to back away from playing his part in family life, to be honest. Social anxiety is difficult, but its not excuse to shirk obligations.

I think he is content as he is, and I don't want to pressure him into doing anything that may make him uncomfortable.

Yes, that is correct.

He will only be able to overcome this with professional help. I believe he will shut down because he is content with the way things are.

He does not use this as a reason to avoid family life because he did not decide to have social anxiety.