Long story as short as possible, we have been together 12 years, 2 young children. Young when we got together and as we got older I noticed he could be mean to me.
He tells me it’s my tone of voice that sparks his response. I tell him that it’s because I have to constantly tell him the same thing over. He often claims I haven’t told him something when I know I have and it makes me question myself.
Very critical of me. Had a sickness bug on Sunday and I was so unwell, could barely move. He thought I was exaggerating. Didn’t offer me water, medication, food etc. He then got it the following day and realised how bad it was. I catered to him to make sure he was okay.
I have been to therapy to better myself. He won’t go and won’t have relationship counselling as his parents had it and he saw no difference and he said I will exaggerate things to make him look bad. I’ve been to therapy, to try and work on myself and change and make our relationship better. He asks me “how have you changed since therapy?” Or “what do you do differently?”
He said tonight he doesn’t like many of my friends. He will stay out of their way if they come over if he isn’t keen on them.
I have a good group of friends in different friendship groups and I like to go out when I can. If I make friends plans for 2 weekends on the trot he makes comments which he says is a joke like “single dad” or “going out 2 weekends in a row” which in turn makes me feel guilty.
I encourage him to make plans with his friends, take up a hobby etc. but he always comes up with excuses.
I don’t usually get much affection from him or compliments and when I say “do I look nice?” He says I’m fishing for compliments.
On the flip side, he will occasionally say nice things if I have done well at work. He helps a lot financially too. We can have banter and fun.
BUT he’s just very negative and seems to take issue with everything I do. I’ve become resentful toward him and can’t shift it.
Can our relationship improve? Anyone else been in similar relationship?