To think about not doing DS (4) a birthday party?

[Evie243]

He’s 5 in August and has autism. He’s in mainstream school reception and has a couple lovely little girls who include him with their chat and games at drop off and pick up. He’s also been invited to a few parties where he has been specifically asked to come. His communication is delayed but he can have short, simple conversations. He’s described as a Happy, gentle boy. He seems to go with the flow with things , lives in the moment so he doesn’t really think about his birthday. He’s yet to specifically ask for a present or toy for his birthday or to do something in particular. We’ve always just guessed and treated it as a “day out” Last year he just understood about birthday cake and candles etc. So I’m thinking, as he hasn’t asked, should I bother throwing a party? Hall, with a bouncy castle, party food etc ? Or do I continue to just plan a day out with family etc? Would you throw a party for a young DC if they haven’t asked for one?

It all depends on what he’d like, whether he’d be happy with a party with a hall etc?

It sounds like he’s not interested in a party this year from what you’ve said.

You could plan a nice day out or activity and just invite one or two friends.

If it's in August I'd worry about this in June.

I think you are asking too much to expect him to ask for a party. you need to think of 2 or 3 feasible options (soft play / invite 3 friends to a activity / cake with family) and then ask which one he wants. It might help to have photos of each options so he understands what if involved.

Learning about how parties work and what happens at a party is a useful skill for an autistic kid, so it will be helpful to have a party of some sort. cake and singing is important!

but if the birthday is really in August, why are you thinking about it now?

I think you have to ask yourself if you’d be doing it for him or for you/ because it’s expected. As a PP has said you could decide nearer the time.
When our eldest was 3 she had a huge themed party in a church hall with lots of friends. When our youngest was 3 (a couple of months before her autism diagnosis) it was clear that she wouldn’t have coped with a party, eaten any of the food or the cake. We took her to the zoo for the day instead. She did go on to have some wonderful parties when she was a couple of years older.

Only you know your child. If he’s enjoyed the other parties then he might really love it. I agree with @parietal, I would give him options and let him decide. If he does want a party there’s lots he would get out of it.