AIBU to feel manager called security in store on me or coincidence?

[coffeefirstwinelater]

Hi I’m posting this as I’m feeling a little upset at how I was treated this morning in a higher end designer store and wondering if I should let it go or make a complaint. There was no one in the store bar the manager. They had a lot of sale clothing right of the door but I was in the store browsing for a few minutes before I went to the sale rack. I picked up a top it set off the door alarm despite me being at least 1.5 metres from the door and alarm barriers.
I didn’t think anything of it and placed the top back as it wouldn’t suit on closer inspection and continued browsing. The manager came over to ask could she help and I explained I was looking for a gift and asked if she had another top in a certain size to which she said no and walked off. I stayed for a few more minutes browsing but couldn’t find anything suitable within budget. The minute I left the store I noticed security waiting by the door watching me and coincidentally left the minute I left. I completely understand that the store has a duty of care to its staff and stock but I feel the fact I spoke to the manager explained I was looking for a gift I gave her an opportunity to help me instead she walked off and I feel treated me like a criminal. I’m more posting this to get it off my chest. Just to add I had no bags with me, I had my very small purse and phone because like I mentioned I was just running in to pick up a gift.

This non thread doesn't interest me in the slightest, oh no, security doing there job...

I'm more interested in the previous posts, they sound way more exciting!

If this all happened the way you said, then I don't think you're unreasonable to be annoyed. It's daft to have goods so close to the alarm system that just picking something up off the rack to look at it sets the alarms off.

@DreamOfTheRarebitFiend thank you, yes exactly what was written, I really didn’t think any more of it whilst browsing in the shop and only the way security left the minute I did. It knocked my confidence a bit. I was coming from dropping my kids at school whereas this store is high end so I would stand out as not their average customer

I feel like I am being watched every time I go into a high end store... because I am. Have you not heard about the huge levels of shop lifting in this country?

I opened this expecting the mad Boots lady!

I wouldn’t give it a second more of your time, OP.

Complain?! They probably were keeping an eye on you because you set the alarm off. Could be your MO to test alarms for all they know. Surely you just move on with your life

Rather than see it as “being treated like a criminal”, choose instead to see it as “making an understandable response to a security alarm sounding.” It isn’t personal. All kinds of people shoplift. I set the alarm off at Aldi a couple of weeks ago - member of staff and security officer were apologetic and said they know I’m a regular customer but as the alarm had gone off it was store policy to have to check my backpack. I wasn’t upset or offended, I’d set an alarm off and it’s their job to check. All fine, and I was on my way.

I don't see how you can complain that a security guard looked at a customer exiting the store without purchasing anything. That's their job.

They didn't ask to see in your bag or even say one word to you. Even then that's just them doing their job.

So you've nothing to complain about.

If your confidence gets knocked from a security guard turning up because an alarm went off then I suggest you have bigger issue to worry about

whats “knocked your confidence”? I can’t see anything that’s happened other than you set an alarm off?

Nothing actually happened that I can see

Maybe the guard was on break and just came back. Maybe they have a lone worker policy so he comes out whenever there's a customer.

Surely the security guard heads the alarm so came over? They are pretty loud and it’s a typical thing for a guard to do in those circumstances

Also knocked your confidence to do what?

It's like the scene in Pretty Woman!

Most shops have security on the door now, they obviously check you out if an alarm goes off and often look at you if you walk out without buying anything. I am always polite and say hello as I walk in. I was in Next today and there was a big security guard on the door.

I don’t think it’s worth complaining about, they were doing their job.

The alarm went off, then security arrived. Then they left when the only customer in the store - you- left. It sounds like they were just doing their job unless you felt there was more of an attitude to it. For all you know they left their tea break because of the alarm and when the shop was empty there was no reason for them to continue being there.

I can't see why you'd complain tbh. Sometimes stores like that can feel judgey so I'm wondering if you're putting this upon yourself.

Coffeefirstwinelater
Read this and thought you were black
You don't want or need this
But that feeling you've got?
That's how it always feels for us black girls
Hope you're better now

I think that you took this too personally, OP. You feel that they were reacting to you as an individual, as if you looked dishonest, or weren't smartly enough dressed to be in a higher-end store.

That's not the situation, though. They weren't judging you. They were just responding to the fact that a certain percentage of browsers are thieves. We are all under suspicion to that extent. And you accidentally did something that they are trained to respond too.

I'd take it with a good heart. We all have to do our bit when retailers and their employees are struggling as much as they are with theft. And that means tolerating the small signs that we aren't fully trusted.

Big mistake.. HUGE!!

Security are paid to be just that security. It always surprises me when people complain about security doing what they are supposed to do.

How is the manager supposed to know that you are not a professional shoplifter? You might have a shoplifter's hairstyle.

I've set the security alarm off by the doors in all types of shops. It's because I am usually carrying a library book and these days they have a security thing inside the cover. I just stop when approached by security and engage with them. No big deal.

OP, this sort of incident happens everywhere, all the time, to any customer. Shoplifting levels are through the roof nationally, every store has to be on the alert for any incident they can nab, and it is costing us, the consumers, and the retail industry, £4.2 billion a year, including crime prevention spending, and, at a broad estimate of two million shoplifting incidents a year, or 55,000 incidents per day, as Google's Gemini has just informed me. It is also adding £150.00 - £180.00 per annum to the costs of every household in the UK .

I have never stolen anything from a store, or from anyone else, in my life, but just to give you a few incidents that have happened to me. In Waitrose, alone in an aisle, I knelt down to see what brand of breakfast cereal I wanted to purchase, only for the officious guy in charge of alcoholic drinks to move straight to the top of the aisle, and glare at me in a very obvious way, arms akimbo, while I was selecting my products. There was no question but that I was being watched (I glared at him back when I was leaving).

I entered another Waitrose I didn't know last year, and, since I had no idea where anything was located, must have looked a bit doolally while I browsed around. I knelt down again to look at the different range of loaves on offer on one of the shelves. All of a sudden a member of staff rushed up to me, looking a bit panicked: "Excuse me, can we help you? What are you looking for?" Me. "Oh, I'm just looking to see what these loaves are. Ooh, this one is nice and warm. I'll have this, thanks", put in in my basket and grinned at him as I left. The expression on his face was a picture.

Another time, on a day out in Oxford Street - and this one was really unpleasant - I entered one of the big department stores, with a bag on me for a makeover I had booked at a hairdresser off one of the side streets. Somehow, I triggered off an alarm when I left, not having bought anything. Immediately, three guys emerged from different directions, seized my handbag, seized my makeover bag, seized my make-up bag, picked out and examined the various things in the bags, looking through an old receipt, everything. No communication with me, no eye contact. Finding nothing from the store, they let me go without a word.

Google's Gemini has also just informed me of the measures taken by the stores and government to combat this epidemic, "Project Pegasus" and the "Fusion Cells" or some such which I'll look at later, but until such time as these come into effect, all the friction and suspicion of the customer which a shopping experience involves these days will continue, and any one of us customers will continue to be pulled up in the way you've been.