EXTREMELY WORRIED ABOUT NEIGHBOUR! What to do???!

[BabyBentleyBlonde]

so this lady lived in my building for years, we’d say hi to each other

then she started acting very strange.

she for a year now

1. knocks/touches my door and leaves
2. has this like weird/crazy/scared/confused look in her face. sometimes, I walk outside and she stands and stares at me
3. she is everyday wearing nothing but tank top and short shorts in this freezing cold weather
4. is digging through rubbish bins for hours everyday. Or Checking bin like 30 times a day
5. Walks out at 3am and also digs through rubbish bins
6. keeps asking people for cigarette despite never smoking

she looks older than 50 and always walked with cane

is it possible this is like dementia? I’m worried about her. Should I report her and try to get her help?? I’m worried she is not getting the help/care she needs?

I mean she is outside is very cold weather in tiny shorts and tank top. Digging through rubbish

we live in this big building and I don’t know what flat she lives in.

my question is should I report, and who do I report to? And how do I find out which building she lives in?

unless she is 65 or over she wont be classed as older op.
she will be adult

@BabyBentleyBlonde did you find anyone to check up?

I suppose it’s possible she’s stopped taking her medication.

was told I need find out where she lives first. Which flat. Photo of her and building address is not enough

my plan to either follow her when I see her (which will be very hard as she often acts like paranoid about anyone around/near her and only walks into elevator if she is alone/no one else there), refuses to get in if someone else gets on. plus she knows I live on ground floor so could immediately get suspicious/paranoid/scared if she sees me get in elevator with her.

she already runs away when she sees me after I tried talking to her

or/and to go to this one gossiping lady, ( a neighbour recommended) in my building who apparently is always in everyone’s business and seems to know everything and everyone and show her photo and ask if she knows where she lives

What kind of security do you have in the communal entrance? Is it private?

@BabyBentleyBlonde -could you have some bagged up supplies ready to ‘chuck out’ when she is around? Some non- perishable food stuffs (or even fresh if you can know when you’re likely to encounter her), as you go to dispose of them, she may accept them? Or even a few old clothes? Just thinking how you could maybe build up some trust….

I don’t think there’s any point phoning any of those helplines. A Samaritan listens to people, they don’t go out looking for people to rescue them.

OP, I’d ring adult social services, or 111 for advice.

Well I spoke to a neighbour

she said this woman has a husband and lives with him (I never saw her husband before tho? She’s always all alone by herself) and that she is mentally Ill, spent time in mental hospital before , and I shouldn’t help her/get involved and should just leave it???

now I am not sure what to do

I couldn't leave it. Whether she is mentally unwell or not, she's vulnerable and needs help. I would keep on reporting to police and Social services, and see if I could get any other information out of nosey neighbour.

Obviously she needs checking up on, from miles

you are a great human and neighbour. Who is my neighbour , asked the disciples of Jesus

ring adult mental health services would be my suggestion in that case. assuming she is under 65

I would NOT follow her back to her flat, thats likely to really trigger her and escalate unpredictable behaviour.

If you feel comfortable, if she is trying to talk to you, I would ask to accompany her back to her flat so you can see she's home safely.

If she agrees, thats fine then leave her at her door and you can then contact adult social services.

If not, then just contact adult social services with your building address and a good description.

If you are worried about her behaviour and think it may be a risk to other people, you can call the police but expect better results on a weekday afternoon vs a weekend evening, and expect them to be a lot less interested if she is just being 'weird in public' vs being a threat to herself and others!

The only thing I found out is which floor she lives on

Personally I wouldn't be following her anywhere, especially not back to her flat where she most likely has household knives, scissors, a hammer etc. If she is mentally unwell she could well believe OP 'is after' her and it may not end well.

Well, exactly.

You just mentioned she has a husband OP. I guess he's dealing with it, or not.....

I personally wouldn't get involved.

Weirdo neighbours are par for the course in life.

I had the police round here about 3 weeks ago (thank god a woman too) to ask about a new neighbour who is obviously wanted by them.... 😳

Op doesn't sound uk ? Probably need some clarification on that for protocols.

Mh is messy if enough has concerned you to post here, you should make sure there is intervention

I’m in uk

I'd inform SS. She needs help, husband or not.

Should you report?! Erm, yes! She obviously needs help. This sounds like dementia. I’m worried you have to ask MN whether you should report…

If you have a history of mental heath under a team, sometimes you stay with adult health even when you're over 65. In my cmht at least.

I think you need to be reassured that you've done what you can. Find out the woman's name or address (someone will know it) and report to services for mental health or even report to police in your area. Obviously she's not done anything wrong but reporting concerns to police can trigger them to report to relevant mental health teams. You could even speak to 101 and say it's just for information because you're concerned.

It might be that she's not actually causing herself or anyone else harm, even though she's behaving oddly, in which case all services can do is encourage her to engage with meds etc, and hospital would be disproportionate...

She may have a crack cocaine addiction or early onset dementia. You could make a referral to the adult social safeguarding team.

If what neighbour has said is true about her having mental health care and previous hospitalisations, then she is known to someone somewhere. The fact she is decompensating like this would lead me to believe that her husband is not able to adequately care for her (maybe he’s left, maybe he’s dead 😬).

I honestly would put all of these concerns in writing to your local GP surgery and also contact the local mental health crisis team. They will know her. I cannot imagine that with a description and her address and floor (not flat), the team wouldn’t immediately know who she is. I’d be very clear that you don’t want any information, but give your contact details in case they need to follow up.

This will be your best bet at getting past the computer says no of whoever is answering the phone and can’t process an official report without filling in all the fields on the form.

All the people saying OP should report to social care or a mental health team. They cannot take a referral for someone from a random member of the public on the information given. You may feel it is ‘computer says no’ but just think of the practicalities. You cannot make a record of the concern or investigate what is known about the background without a name. Are you supposed to just go and hang around in a stairwell hoping that she shows up? This is not how services work.

Highly optimistic to think that the mental health crisis team will a) take a referral from a random member of the public b) take a referral with no consent c) instantly know who that person is from the vague description given especially in a large city. You can try calling them if you like but I doubt this would be an effective course of action.

If she is banging on your door harassing you or going through your bin I’d say you have cause to call police 101. I know they don’t deal with mental health issues but anti social behaviour they do and they will have powers to investigate and find out who she is and can raise a safeguarding concern

You could call the local GP surgery although this is also a long shot with no name as she may not even be registered there but it’s probably less of a long shot than the MH crisis team who would need a valid referral.

Doesn’t the nosy neighbour know the lady’s name since she seems to know all the rest of her business?

the crisis team will look into this,