trust betrayed

[Bonbon27]

I have been having personal training with a martial arts instructor. I told the instructor something very personal and sensitive. I asked him if he has told anyone? He said "no" at first. I then asked if he has told anyone other instructors. He then confessed another instructor knows. I have not given any permission for this.
I was obviously very upset about this and it has caused me a great deal of distress. I then confronted him about it another day and he said he couldn't remember what he said.
I feel he has betrayed my trust, I can't trust the other instructor.
I spoke to the other instructor about this and there response to this was "he didn't actually tell me anything". Not sure I believe this, feel they are protecting themselves.
Am I right that he has breached confidentiality? Is it against ethics as you are meant to trust and respect your instructors.
Any thoughts please,

Why did you tell your instructor something so profoundly personal?

They’re a martial arts instructor - not a doctor or therapist

It depends what it is and why you told him. If it's related to your training, e.g. "please don't do that thing that's normal in this martial art because it reminds me of being assaulted" then presumably the other instructor would need to know.

I was about to say the same.

Seems like you overstepped the boundaries by telling them in the first place.

Something that private shouldn’t have been shared with your PT.

Don’t over share things with people that are not your personal confidants. If you do, then don’t be surprised that people speak to other people and say things.

I can't see it being like a doctor or therapist so can't see that there'd be any rules or obligations exactly.

I guess here, I think I'd be more concerned if it was malicious or not.

Just don't tell him anything you don't want repeating again

It's very easy I think to think you're forging some sort of close bond with a trainer you're working 1-1 with. You need to remember that every client of theirs does the same thing OP. They desensitise to it. Why do you think personal trainers have a rep of shagging their pupils? The closeness is all one sided though, you feel betrayed but you're just another paying customer to him.

Once the trust is gone, it's gone. You're probably better going elsewhere.

He doesn't owe you confidentiality - he isn't a psychiatrist / doctor.

Did he disclose something about your health or a surgery that you told him about? That is really unprofessional if he did that.

You should make a complaint to the studio management, and to the governing body for the martial art if the complaint isn’t handled seriously. There’s no specific doctor-patient privilege with a trainer, but sharing client information with other trainers or attendees is a violation of industry standard codes of ethics - the only exception is if he believes that not disclosing the information would put someone at risk of imminent harm. Depending on how it was shared, and whether it was recorded anywhere, it may also be a breach of GDPR.

If you told him something about your health, or like what another poster has raised, that being touched in a particular way is triggering for you because you were abused, the correct process would have been to tell you that he cannot promise confidentiality before you told him, and then afterwards explain that he feels he needs to share this information with a colleague - particularly if that colleague is also the designated person for safeguarding - because he wants advice on how or whether he should continue private sessions, or because he believes it is a risk for them to be unaware (because you may be injured if touched in this way / you may become deregulated or respond violently if touched in this way.)

Once you tell one person something it ceases to be a secret. If you dont want something shared tell noone ever

Never tell someone a secret you can’t keep yourself.

I agree with others he probably didn’t really want to know

Is it? Or is it sensible to share with others who may work with the client? It depends what it was but not necessarily unprofessional.

If you voluntarily told him something he did not need to know to do his job effectively then you will have to chalk it up as a lesson in not unnecessarily sharing deeply personal information with people who do not need it,

Yeah I agree, but I was imagining she said ‘ I had breast surgery here and I can’t move this way’ or filled in a gym membership type form disclosing medication she was on and he said it to the other instructors.

I think it really depends what happened.

Thank you ComtesseDeSpair. Nobody was at risk. I have been having Personal training with this instructor for about a year. I dropped my guard and told him something sensitive. I'm only human, I'm aware of safe guarding and nobody was at risk. He didn't tell the other instructor in a malicious way but I do believe ethics were broken.

just to clarify the PT I was having was with a martial arts instructor learning self defense, boxing and kickboxing. It's not your normal gym

Was it that you fancied one of the instructors?

I don’t think this makes a jot of difference.

Was it a sensitive safeguarding concern?

You are making a big deal over something so small.

Don't share sensitive information with trainers. They aren't therapists.

By asking all these questions about who said what, you've made a much bigger deal of it than if you'd stayed quiet.

It depends on what you told him.and, crucially, whether you specifically asked him not to tell anyone. If you made it clear it was confidential then it is unprofessional but this isnt a doctor/therapist/lawyer type relationship where you could reasonably expect it to stay between you. You let your guard down, i can appreciate why you feel this way but i feel that youre making it bigger by asking him and the other instructor about it. If the trust is gone, change instructor, but i dont think you have any recourse as such

It's a trainer at a gym, not a dr/therapist. With regards to something like this, they have much of a code of ethics as someone who works in a shop.

Is there a chance your secret made them uncomfortable?

Yeah that’s right, let’s get people sacked and ruin their future job prospects just because we like over sharing.