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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Familys constant calls

8 replies

Lizay27 · 27/01/2026 18:43

How often do your family call you (parents/siblings)? As a single parent and full time employee my days are hectic. My family know my day is never ending and know my routine, such as my wake up time, kids bed time. My siblings live abroad so our time zones are very different. I used to speak to one sibling once a week on the weekend when I had the time.

My challenging situation is one sibling is a SAHM and almost 5/6 days per week calls me in the morning before my alarm goes off and then again after the babies are in bed. I explained to them that I wake up early to get house chores done before waking kids up and to be honest its often a one hour call of complaining. I find this very negative to starting my day. As soon my children are asleep and I sit down to relax after doing chores, the phone rings again and its another hour. I find it tough as I also need to wind down. I explained this, yet the calls still come in and when i mention it again they get upset at me. It got to the point where I dont even reply to family messages anymore or post on my social media - as soon as i do, the phone buzzes.

I want to speak to my siblings and be there for them, but I also need the chance to breathe. I feel once/twice a week is reasonable for a call. I feel terrible for even writing this but its mentally affecting me. The more I ask to please stop the angrier they get and I dont have the headspace to deal with conflict and receiving paragraphs of upset messages. Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Swiftie1878 · 27/01/2026 18:44

Don’t answer the phone?…

SENmumof22026 · 27/01/2026 18:45

Just ignore the phone Smile

FoxFeatures · 27/01/2026 18:47

Don’t feel terrible for writing this OP. Your sibling doesn’t feel terrible for burdening you despite your requests for more reasonable comms.

Personally, I would switch my phone off in the morning and evening. They don’t have any respect for your life and needs, so a hard line in the sand is needed.

PepsiBook · 27/01/2026 18:50

Don't feel bad.
That's extremely excessive.
You've explained to them how you feel, they've not understood. So tell them you won't be answering, then don't.

Lizay27 · 27/01/2026 18:57

I do ignore the phone nowadays and then it constantly buzzes. I have had up to 13 missed calls in the morning and thought it was an emergency, it was for a vent. On this day i actually snapped at them about the number of calls.

OP posts:
Anonanonanonagain · 27/01/2026 19:00

Mute and do not disturb have saved many a family relationship.

FlapperFlamingo · 27/01/2026 19:02

Just have your phone on silent. Tell them you can do a weekly call and suggest the time that suits you both and stick to that. Then ignore.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 27/01/2026 21:20

Put your 'phone on silent if you dont want to be disturbed.

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