To worry my 16 month old DS is overweight?

[cauliflowercore]

AIBU to be worried about my 16 month old DS being overweight?

This is my first post so sorry if i get things wrong. i feel a bit silly even typing this but it has been going round my head for weeks and i dont know if im being unreasonable or not.

My DS is 16 months. He is a happy lovely little boy and hitting all his milestones etc. But he is big. Like visibly bigger than other kids his age. At toddler group he looks older than he is and people always say oh he must be nearly 2 or ask what size clothes hes in.

We saw the HV last month and she said hes on a high centile but following his line so its fine. I nodded and smiled but i didnt really understand the centile stuff if im honest. Hes something like 91st for weight and lower for height which is what worries me. She said not to put him on a diet obviously but to just keep offering healthy food.

The thing is he eats a lot. Hes always hungry. If i dont give him seconds he screams. He loves food and will eat pretty much anything but especially carbs. I dont give him sweets or fizzy drinks or anything like that. He has toast or porridge for breakfast, proper meals and fruit. But he just seems chunky and his belly sticks out. His thighs have rolls. His coats and trousers are tight even when i size up.

My mum keeps making comments like hes a little porker or oh he doesnt miss a meal does he. I know she probably doesnt mean harm but it gets to me. My MIL has also said i shouldnt be letting him eat so much and that babies dont need seconds. That made me feel awful like im setting him up for problems later.

I dont want to be one of those mums obsessing over weight or projecting stuff onto a baby. But i also dont want to ignore it if theres something i should be doing differently. i keep comparing him to other kids and then telling myself to stop.

So am i being unreasonable to worry about this or is it normal at this age? Please be kind. i really am not trying to be cruel about my own child and i already feel bad even posting this.

Mine was 9lb 110z at birth and stayed big until about 3 when they shot up and were very active. Something like 75th percentile now.

Mine was huge until he was 3. Now he's 18 and his 30 inch waist trousers hang off him.

I really wouldn't worry unless and until he's fully mobile and active. Toddlers are often chunky.

Is he walking confidently yet? So many older babies are chubby then it all drops off them once they get mobile. DD was 90-something percentile for weight around that age, had thigh dimples, chubby cheeks, the full works but is now a super skinny 8YO.

91st centil means more than 91% of peers.
Please do not worry!!!
If you are truly only feeding healthy food, not packaged/take away etc then just keep your child active. Tell your mum and MiL your child is healthy and to stop commenting like that. You need to stick up for your child with them as it starts now.

Offer him seconds of the veg, he will eat if he's hungry.

How much milk is he getting?

He is walking yes, has been since about 13 months and is into everything so not like hes just sitting still all day. He runs round the living room non stop and climbs the sofa which is why part of me thinks i am being daft worrying.

I think its the comments that have got into my head more than anything. My mum has always commented on weight (mine included) so i probably carry that with me and then when MIL said it as well it tipped me over. i know toddlers are meant to be chunky but when youre the one with the biggest one in the room it messes with you a bit.

The centile explanation helps actually. The HV was nice but she talks very fast and i just nod. He eats what we eat mostly and i dont do ready meals or takeaways for him. I like the idea of offering more veg first rather than just more of everything.

I will tell them to pack it in with the comments. Easier said than done but youre right that it probably starts now if i dont. Reading that others were the same and it evened out does make me feel less like ive already ruined him.

I think if they eat good food and exercise then they might even out over time or they might just be bigger framed. My first son is nearly 3, worn age 4-5 clothes for ages, is very tall but is also just heavy set. He used to look chubby until 18 months when it fell off and he doesn’t look fat, he’s perfectly in proportion but also heavy. People do constantly think he’s older than he is which was hard when he couldn’t talk and others thought he should be able to. My second son is nearly 4 months but currently bigger than my first so who knows how big he’ll end up! I wouldn’t worry about it, he’s still so young

My 50th centile baby born on his due date at 7lbs..... was porky. I actually didn't realise myself how porky until I look back at pictures.

Like that he would demolish his meals (porridge, eggs, proper healthy dinner and lunch etc), hav e fruit and some baby snacks throughout the day. From about 3 months he was at 97th centile for eight and 93rd for height.

He walked at 14 months but I didn't see him become lean until definitely closer to 18iah months when he was permanently active. He's 22 months now and still eats loads, is taller than most his age but is lean...

I wouldn't worry too much.

Milk wise he has cows milk now, about 2 beakers a day so morning and before bed. Sometimes a bit more if hes off his food but not loads. He was breastfed till 11 months and then just switched over. HV didnt say anything about milk being an issue.

The bigger framed thing is interesting because his dad is broad and tall and was apparently a massive baby (according to his mum who loves to remind me). i am not small either so maybe im expecting him to be something hes just not going to be.

I relate to the people thinking hes older. They talk to him like he should answer and then look confused when he just stares at them. That stresses me out more than the weight if im honest.

Hearing that chubby phase dropped off around this age does help. i think i need to stop staring at other toddlers and just let him be. Easier said than done but this has calmed me down a bit.

@MidWayThruJanuary @VikaOlson

There is nothing wrong with the child's weight.

As long as OP is feeding her child with proper meals and her child is active there is nothing to do. The HV or GP would tell OP is there was a concern.

He's not big boned. He doesn't need seconds. His stomach is the size of his foster. You can overfeed a toddler.

If he’s eating a healthy diet then I wouldn’t worry. The HV would have told you if they were concerned. Being a higher percentile is not an issue and they just check to see if they are in proportion (height and weight are similar percentiles) and that there’s no sudden increase/decrease in percentiles. I have a very tall child so understand it’s a concern that people treat them like they are much older, but unfortunately it’s likely something you’ll just have to get used to.

Also OP it’s really common for them to eat everything at that age but then get significantly fussier around 2. So you might find his current enthusiasm for food doesn’t last much longer. Obviously I know no one wants a fussy toddler but I think increased pickiness combined with increased activity levels lead to mine really slimming out between the ages of 1 and 2. In short he’s too young to really judge yet! A lot can change! If it’s all healthy stuff and he’s happy then I wouldn’t worry.

My son was on the 99 centile. He was the chubbiest, squishiest cutest boy ever. And now he's a lanky 9 year old with barely an ounce of fat on him.

Enjoy the squishy baby rolls and ignore any negative comments.

Have you looked into what a portion size should be for his age?

Mine werw all chunks and are now tall, skinny teens!

@BudgetBustersounds very like mine. He would eat constantly if i let him and it’s all normal food, not rubbish. I look back at photos from even a few months ago and he already looks different so maybe im just too in it to see it properly.

I dont really agree with@Caterpillarhoppingcomment though. Im not forcing food into him. He signs more and cries if i take it away and i dont feel right ignoring that. His HV didnt say anything about overfeeding and im not giving adult sized portions or anything mad.

I get that toddlers stomachs are small but hes also growing and moving all the time. If he eats a big lunch he often eats less later. It seems to balance out over a day.

This is kind of why i posted because part of me worries and part of me thinks im borrowing trouble. I dont want to start restricting him when hes still so little and active. I just want to do the right thing and its hard to know where that line is.

My son was 96th centile for weight and height until he was old enough to walk everywhere without the buggy aged 2.5. Then at the next growth spurt he kept the centile for height and dropped 20 centiles of weight. From the age of 4 he’s been incredibly skinny and very tall.
If he’s a good eater, let him eat when he’s hungry and don’t worry.

Dont worry at all my boy was always on 98th centile, loves his food, always wants seconds, will try anything which is great. Always kept food very balanced mostly healthy, definitely allowed treats. Hes 5 now hes not overweight in the slightest but he is broad and tall and quite heavy to lift. All totally normal. You sound lovely and a great mum to be concerned and caring about this but honestly ignore the comments and enjoy the chunky arms and legs you'll miss them when he grows up x

This makes sense re the centiles and the sudden changes being more of a worry. He has been big pretty much since birth so its not like hes suddenly shot up. The HV did say she wasnt concerned so i probably need to trust that instead of my own spiralling.

The food fussiness thing is interesting because right now he will eat anything i put in front of him and i keep waiting for that to change. Maybe im panicking while its all actually fine and normal.

Portion sizes i havent really looked up properly if im honest. I sort of go by what he seems to want and whats left on the plate. Some days he eats loads and some days not much so it varies. I might have a look just for my own peace of mind but i dont want to get too rigid about it.

The comments about them leaning out later are reassuring. I do love his chunky arms and legs really, its just the outside comments that get under my skin. I think i need to stop listening to everyone else and just enjoy him while hes this age.

What height and weight is he? If he's still on the chart he's fine anyway.

One of my favourite kids is an absolute chunk monster and she is a) brilliant and b) will inevitably grow out of it, that's when they start looking like little boys/girls and not babies, so I'll be sad!

Suggest you tell your mum to stop body shaming and/or just agree with her and say 'yes, he's a gorgeous little kid', as if she's complimenting your son. Might confuse her.

@cauliflowercore I think you said Health Visitor mentioned dhe was following the curve... which essentially means his height and weight are growing in line. So he's probably taller than most kids his age too!

My stepson was a literal giant. He was heavy but super tall. He was in 7-8 clothing at aged 4. I look back and he ws definitely chubby as a toddler and young child and would literally eat anything non stop but he was never what I would considered fat.
He's 13 now, 6ft 4 and outrageously athletic and costs me a small fortune in food 😂

My now 9 year old was large until she was 4 - tall and round! From 5 onwards she’s been 50 percentile weight for her height and she’s fit and sporty. Please don’t overthink it, he’s ever so young and will get more and more mobile over the coming months. Just feed him healthily as you are already doing!