AIBU? Will I get the sack?

[mumstheword1x]

I work as a PA. I invited the wrong person to a meeting, that is happening in 3 weeks time. The surnames different by 1 letter.

the PA of this person, forwarded on to the correct one, and in that time I also realised the mistake - within 3 minutes, so I sent to the correct one and removing the right one.

my manager messaged me saying ‘I think you’ve invited the wrong x to the meeting on the 16th!’

I replied ‘Sorry, I did notice straight away and changed it. Their names are so similar! - as for the other meeting on that date, I was told we couldn’t do it in person and would need to be virtual but we thought maybe the follow up could be in person.’ and she said “let’s discuss tomorrow”

because the invite didn’t update the names correctly, I’m worried she thinks I’m a liar and she wants to discuss this tomorrow, I feel sick.

I suffer with anxiety and OCD and I never want to do wrong, she called me a superstar on Friday and I got an excellent rating last year.

I HATE MISTAKES AND IM WORRIED! It’s making me not want to go in tomorrow 😢

Unless it's something you do regularly then you won't get fired.

The chat is likely to be more about how you're coping.

I can’t tell you how many meetings that I’ve been invited to where it turns out that they’ve invited the wrong person, including someone else’s disciplinary!! Total non-event, the discussion will be about in person vs virtual. This is very much your anxiety/OCD but it’s also really important to recognise that everyone makes mistakes and that’s okay.

I have a PA. Minor issue that has been fixed. I wouldn't be bothered about it. Try not to worry

For future reference probably best to change properly and remove the incorrect guy as well as adding the correct one yourself rather relying on forwards and declines. That way your boss won’t be confused, the correct one won’t be optional and the incorrect one won’t get any updates if the meeting changes. But that’s PA stuff. I can almost guarantee you that your manager wants to talk about the online or in person element tomorrow not rehash how to send a meeting invite or tell you off. As for sacking- definitely not. Big companies don’t usually just sack people for teeny tiny stuff, you’d have to do something really awful or be made redundant which would then mean you can’t be replaced so hardly something they rush into over nothing.

I think she means she wants to talk about the other part of your message. The mistake will be done, fixed and forgotten by now.

If you are clinically diagnosed with OCD and anxiety then they are classed as disabilities. If you think you made the mistake due to your disabilities then you could claim discrimination if you are fired.

That said, I really don't think you'd get the sack for making a small mistake, and one that you corrected very quickly.

As a PA you must be handling loads of information, have to be very, very organised and think quickly on your feet. Do you think your anxiety is getting worse because this does seem like a gross over-reaction on your part.

She wants to discuss the follow up meeting

In a previous role I was director of HR with a virtually identical name to one of our union reps. Now that’s the sort of name mix up you don’t want to get wrong, lol. Most others will be fine op, you’re only human.

Only thing about this that will make your manager concerned is if you make any fuss at all about it. It's nothing to even think about or mention again.

Your response to a very minor mistake is really disproportionate OP. As a PA you need to be super organised and not going into a spiral of doom unnecessarily. Are you new in post? Do you normally react like this or do you think your anxiety of getting worse because you must know rationally no one would be fired for this.

Relax, this is a non event.
Minor, easy rectified error, no confidentiality breached, no cost to company.

Don't worry, it will be fine x

Honestly - if she even wanted to fire you (which I’m sure she doesn’t), HR will tell her to wind her neck in. It’ll be fine…but do try to get some support for your anxiety,

This is nothing.

Reminds me of a story my DH told when he worked for one of the big four. One of the admin people booked an entire team on a flight to Budapest instead of Bucharest. 😱

I often say to my team “let’s discuss tomorrow” when I’m either knackered or just don’t have time for a conversation that day. I’d be horrified if I thought that was making anyone anxious. (And I say that as someone with very severe general anxiety disorder)

Someone at my work managed to invite the whole company to a meeting, literally more than a thousand people who then started ‘reply all’ ing to the invitation saying ‘I’m not sure this is meant for me’. IT ended up having to intervene. So I think you’re fine!

Hiya - I also agree that the “let’s discuss tomorrow” was about the in person / virtual matter that you brought up which sounds like it’s easier to discuss than finalise by quick messages. You’re agonising unnecessarily, calm down and stop beating yourself up x

Have you by any chance had a really bad manager in the past who would have overreacted to that? I have, and while I wouldn’t have expected be actually be sacked for that I can still see myself worrying about the reactions of even a much more reasonable manager.

Ah @mumstheword1x I promise nothing bad will happen here. I used to work for the NHS (non clinical) and a clinical manager had the same (common) surname and initial as me; I often used to get their emails. Obvs I had to forward them to the right person (and flag back to the sender) and sometimes they maybe included confidential info (I never read them ofc) but I am certain no one was sacked. And that’s a lot more serious than what you are describing. I wonder if you should talk to someone about this if you often catastrophise in this way? Are you struggling with anxiety in general?

I would say the let's discuss tomorrow is about the follow up possibly being in person

Phew, for a moment there I thought it was going to be something serious…

Oh OP, this is such a minor thing it’s really not worth spending any more time thinking about it! The ‘let’s discuss tomorrow’ is about the f2f vs virtual meeting, you’re not going to get sacked! The last meeting I went to was an important, client one, with about 10 clients coming in. The PA booked the room, invited the right people, ordered some lovely biscuits- forgot the drinks, no water, coffee etc. Everyone laughed, we sorted out some drinks and cracked on with the meeting - really no big deal.

This would be a non issue at my work

I was once sent the wrong letter by HR, extremely confidential about a senior manager. I doubt any heads rolled.

Please take these wise words on board.
and can I recommend Able Futures
Its really excellent coaching for workplace issues.

None of us can tell you what they’re going to do, if anything. However, sounds like a minor, honest mistake that’s been rectified. Unless you’re making them left, right and centre, or there’s something particularly important about this invitation, I doubt anything will happen.