Having a duvet day

[WineBeforeWhine]

Why do I feel guilty doing nothing. I had planned on going out, but it’s so cold outside I decided to stay home. I’m retired and my time is my own, but having a day like this makes me feel guilty that I’ve wasted it. How can I just enjoy a day like this?

You can still go out when it's cold, just wrap up. I WFH and I would go stir crazy if I didn't get out every day.

🙄 Bit of a tone deaf response there from the first poster. A lot of people feel guilty taking a duvet day or not being "productive" - it's drummed into us from the get go to do and achieve and make the most of every moment!!! Doing nothing all day is lush and totally fine, hope you can enjoy it OP

Enjoy it. You’re doing nothing wrong, it’s January and miserable out there. X

I dont leave the house unless I have to. I love just sitting and reading in any free time I have. Now the dc are older and want to do their own thing, I just enjoy a potter, get any jobs done and sit and read with a brew!

Great for you. Not everyone wants to just go out.

There is nothing to feel guilty for

I can’t do those sort of days either without feeling riddled with guilt.

So to get over that, I do wrap up and go out for a good walk, then come back for a hot bath and chill for the rest of the day. Still mostly a duvet day!

Don't feel guilty! It's January, it's the month to have a rest.

You feel guilty because you have allowed yourself to be dictated to by what you think ‘society’ thinks you should be doing with your time.

1. Societal expectations are not rules you must blindly follow.
2. It is not selfish, nor wasteful to listen to what your body and mind needs and to then act to fulfil those needs.
3. Societal expectations are shifting anyway - self care and mindfulness for yourself is more present nowadays.
4. You do not need validation or approval from society, strangers on the internet, nor acquaintances, friends and family members to look after yourself.

I’m like you op. I’m also retired and feel guilty when I’m not busy! Think it’s because dh still works. It’s so silly isn’t it? Enjoy your day x

So reframe it in your mind as not a wasted day, but a day of investment in your health. The pillars of wellbeing are good nutrition, excercise, stimulation and rest. Today you're focusing on the fourth.

I am trying to do the same, and also feeling guilty, despite the fact this is my first day off in three weeks!!

Frankly, everybody should be acting to find more peace and calm in their lives. So much of what people do and expect of others is completely unnecessary. The world is far too stressed, overwhelmed and failing to cope….and much of that is due to ridiculous pressure we heap upon ourselves. It’s total madness.

Just enjoy it! Don’t feel guilty x

Tell yourself you're a grown up, answerable to none and can do whatever the hell you like as long as it's legal and you're harming no-one.
Enjoy your cosy hibernation day OP.

It’s also a learned response - people who feel guilty for this sort of thing have been conditioned since childhood to believe their value is based on their output, and a moral judgement is applied to condition people into thinking busy = good, idle = bad. Even the word ‘idle’ has negative associations attached to it. We seem to treat rest as some sort of moral failing or weakness, which is utterly ridiculous when you think about it.

You need more practice....

I’m having one today OP, I do feel a bit guilty and there is stuff that needs doing, but I only got 3 hrs sleep last night (thank you hormones), and I can barely function. I will put on a load on washing and get tonights dinner ready, but otherwise I’m being very lazy mumsneting and watching Downton Abbey! If I had actually slept properly I’d be doings tons of shite that needs doing, but tried a few hours ago, and I was so lethargic and slow, I thought what’s the point?! And went back to laze on the sofa with puss cat, and obviously piss cat is now fast asleep on my lap, so I can’t possible disturb him!

OMG auto correct you bastard! Pusscat not puss or piss cat!

A duvet day sounds blissful! Enjoy it!

Poor you, hope you over come the guilt.

What have you wasted though ? Sitting at home on your sofa resting/reading/Tv is good for you, relaxing regenirates you,

Know how you feel but if you can't relax then you've defeated the object. Everyone needs me time sometimes it's looking after yourself. I recently had a major totally unexpected health event. Now I'm having to rest. Finding it hard but maybe if I had rested without feeling guilty then I wouldn't be where I am now. So look after you. Make the most of your day. Just watch some films or read to distract yourself. Enjoy!

Guilt is a total waste of mental energy. It has no benefit or purpose. Set it down like a bag of rubbish and walk away from it.

I will say that I'm one of the posters who finds that a quick walk in fresh air, particularly in daylight makes me feel better mentally and physically even if I really didn't want to go at first. But we aren't all the same and you know yourself best. If staying inside is going to feel better for you today, do that, obviously. One of the best things about retirement is deciding what you feel like doing rather than doing what other people want you to do!

Look at it this way. You have and still do spend a lot of money on your home environment, so staying home is good use of that! Nothing is a waste if you enjoy it. I have two hours till school pick-up and I’m going to use them drinking tea and playing video games on the sofa under my heated blanket

THIS 100%

I prefer to be at home a I have got older. I have everything I need .. food, drinks, warmth, comfort .. I am lucky that we have a fabulous garden for the summer and a (small) swimming pool .. I do not need to go anywhere ! Happy to go to friends houses for evenings/socialising or them to us .. but anything else - forget it !

I do go out out but as little as possible