AIBU to put my child in full time pre-school even if I don’t need to?

[Bee16]

My child is 3 years old and currently attends nursery for 2 days a week 8am - 5pm. Grandparents then have him for 2 days a week and I work 4 days a week so we have a day together. From September (when he will be 3 years and 9 months) I was intending to enrol him at pre-school at the primary school he will be attending from September 2027. The hours would be 9am - 3pm.

I am due my second baby in a few months and intend to go back to work 4 days a week as I am now. My DH will be compressing his hours and also working 4 days a week. The plan was for us to each have a day in the week with the baby doing baby groups etc and each having some one-on-one time with the baby while my eldest is at nursery.

I’m having doubts now as I’ve had some comments recently saying it’s cruel to put him
in for 5 days when we only need childcare for 3 days and that 5 days is too much for him.

Is it unreasonable to put him in preschool for 5 days? Should I just choose 3 or 4 instead so he has a day or two in the week with us and his new sibling?

No it’s fairly normal to do 5 days in preschool where I am. It’s only 9-12 though unless you pay extra for the wrap around care.
My DD did 9-12 though two days a week (9-3 the other 3). Could he do a half day once or twice a week maybe so he gets a full afternoon at home?

I wouldn’t send him full time. Enjoy having them both together, it’s good for them. School is 14 long years, have time with him at home while you can.

I was where you are now last year and please heed me, apply for 5 days.
My daughter was one of the older ones in year too so turned 4 not long after starting preschool.
If things are going well you can pick up at lunchtime and have a half day or skip a day and keep at home whenever you so like. However, if you end up with a boob barnacle who won't sleep anywhere but with you then you might well need that time!
I understand what people are saying about only getting the time with them once but honestly, there are so many holidays, there's the weekends and after school. It's just not the same as going somewhere 8-6. It's also fantastic educationally and socially.
Let's face it at home with me and the baby she'd be having an afternoon of cbeebies, not making paper mache dinosaur eggs like at nursery!
It's not doing away with your eldest- remember how much 1:1 time they got- your second needs some of that too.
I love my firstborn so much and I do sometimes miss when it was just us two, but I definitely feel I am doing the right thing for her and her development. I make as much of a fuss of her as I can in the evenings, we go to the park after school, I do her bathtimes while daddy has the baby, she picks where we go on weekends.

If it is a school nursery they seem fairly inflexible. We had to send them 5 days a week either all mornings or all afternoons. This may have changed since the free 30 hours, but what they did not like was people not sending them regularly, just like school they were supposed to be there all the time. I left mine in private nursery so I could use the free hours in a way that suited me better.

Mine was 3 1/2 and in 5 days a week preschool (9-3) when I was on maternity leave with my second, it was not a nursery, it was attached to a school. I found 5 days to be easier as it was a consistent routine for him. That was the plan even before I found out I was pregnant. I don’t see it as dumping you older one off because you have a new baby at all, 5 days of preschool at that age has always been the norm in places where I have lived even if there was a SAHM or a nanny

This was our plan. I was so looking forward to the freedom 😂

Lasted 2 days and by the end of the week I had decided he’s coming out a full day and an afternoon. So he’s in 3 and a half.

So glad we did that. Honestly it’s actually up there with the best thing I have done in my life.

It wasn’t unstructured. He came from a very good nursery and went into a state preschool school. His old class mates went into the private prep. Part of it I was panicked by the provision difference. I probably didn’t need to worry the school is great.

But it has made such a difference to him. I basically treat that day and a half as homeschool. Widening his provision and targeting it to his weakness and strengths. We do drama, forest school, home ‘lessons’ (phonics, reading, writing, art, maths, history chosen interests) and a few different sports. Also get a few subscriptions each month like kiwi box and Lego.