So my ex-husband (B) and I moved into our own houses a few months ago, with the plan that our teenager (S) would live between the houses 50:50, so on that basis neither would pay child support to the other.
Unfortunately it's all gone to shit as said teenager has had something of a breakdown (whole other story there). Currently he's not leaving the house, going to school, etc and we're waiting for CAHMS support for him. S has a slightly difficult relationship with his dad and currently is avoiding him, so not going to his house etc.
I absolutely would like S to go to his dads. I'm drowning a bit at the moment as S needs a lot of time and support, appointments, etc and the mental load is huge. This is also while working full time. So it would be great to have some down time, but S won't go.
Now on to the AIBU. I can get by without child support from B, although it is tight. But it's a lot being fundamentally the sole carer for a teen with extensive issues to the point of being disabled, and although I know B wants to be a present parent it's all falling on me as although he's well-meaning he's also a bit crap. In December S was with B about 1/3 of the time and has spent 2 nights there this month, but I do all the mental load stuff.
Would I be out of order to ask B to revisit paying child support? It will piss him off and he's a difficult person who I am a bit scared of, so I'm nervous about upsetting the status quo and hurting out co-parenting relationship which is fairly amicable. But at the same time why should I be giving my all to parenting S when B does naff all?
So:
Leave it be: You are being unreasonable
Ask him to stump up: You are NOT being unreasonable