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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Coparent won't tell me what pain relief our child has had in their care.

2 replies

BookArt55 · 25/01/2026 18:37

Medical:
Son had an operation on Friday, then left the hospital with dad for his weekend with him. Kids came back today at 6pm. Dad's communication is that our son had iburofen at 4pm, and that he can have one more dose today. He will not tell me if he had calpol, or the times meds were given. 7 year old son is saying he had no calpol/iburofen today (which explains how he is describing the pain).

The CAO says he sometimes follow medical advice.

Again, today my son has already told me that he hasn't had his other meds the last two nights, and only had his day time meds today, but not the last two days.

My daughter has told me she had crisps that aren't on her safe food list because they were at Costco and the other 4 people were having pizza. She has 15 food allergies and is currently introducing new foods.

I feel like I'm being so picky and losing my mind! But now I can't try our daughter on a new food for the next few days at least to make sure she doesn't have a reaction (her cheeks are currently bright red which isn't a good sign...). My son I'm worried about potentially overdosing or not managing his pain effectively.

Is this small fry stuff? Or is this serious? Do I just need to sit down and calm down. I have the kids 80%of the time. I trust my 3.5 year old and 7 year old more than an adult man.

I don't ask the kids questions, they are telling me all this because they know it isn't right. So I just repeat back what they say and document it at the moment. But worries I look petty! So desensitised to his antics. Emotional abuse towards me also documented in the CAO.

OP posts:
jannier · 25/01/2026 18:56

Id message ex....x is in extreme pain im going to contact hospital just to confirm he had Ibroprofen at 4 and no calpol today they also need to know about his other meds?

SmotYci · 25/01/2026 18:56

Its not acceptable to withhold information about pain relief after an operation/when a child is in pain. What a spiteful, abusive cunt he is. He is forcing his child to be in pain, as you cant now safely medicate him. You are not overreacting to this.

I would discuss this with the GP, and ask for this to be put on record. And request that after any operations/injuries they stay at home with you so that pain can be managed properly.

I dont know what to say about the allergies. He is just an inadequate arse hole.

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